Construction Project, Atomic Bomb
          =================================

          The following paper is taken from The Journal  of  Irreproducible
          Results, Volume 25/Number 4, November 1979.

          1. INTRODUCTION

          Worldwide  controversy  has  been generated recently from several
          court decisions  in  the  United  States  which  have  restricted
          popular  magazines  from  printing articles which describe how to
          make an atomic bomb. The reason usually given by  the  courts  is
          that  national  security would be compromised if such information
          were generally available.

          But, since it is commonly known that all of  the  information  is
          publically  available  in  most metropolitan libraries, obviously
          the court's officially stated position  is  covering  up  a  more
          important  factor:  namely,  that such atomic devices would prove
          too difficult for the average citizen to  construct.  The  United
          States  courts  cannot  afford  to  insult the vast majorities by
          insinuating that they do not have the intelligence of  a  cabbage
          and thus the "official" press releases claim national security is
          a blanket restriction.

          The  rumors  that  have  unfortunately  occurred  as  a result of
          widespread misinformation can (and must) be cleared up  now,  for
          the  construction  project  this  month  is the construction of a
          thermonuclear device, which will hopefully clear up  any  miscon-
          ceptions  you  might  have  about such a project. We will see how
          easy it is to make a device of your very own in ten  easy  steps,
          to  have  and  hold as you see fit, without annoying interference
          from the government or the courts

          The project will cost between $5,000 and $30,000 dollars, depend-
          ing on how fancy you want the final product to be.

          Since last week's  column,  "Let's  Make  a  Time  Machine",  was
          received  so  well  in  the new step-by-step format, this month's
          column will follow the same format.

          2. CONSTRUCTION METHOD

          1. First, obtain about  50  pounds  (110  kg)  of  weapons  grade
          Plutonium  at  your  local supplier (see NOTE 1). A nuclear power
          plant  is  not  recommended,  as  large  quantities  of   missing
          Plutonium  tends to make plant engineers unhappy. We suggest that
          you contact your local terrorist  organization,  or  perhaps  the
          Junior Achievement in your neighborhood.

          2.  Please  remember  that  Plutonium,  especially  pure, refined
          Plutonium, is somewhat dangerous. Wash your hands with  soap  and
          warm  water  after  handling  the  material, and don't allow your
          children or pets to play in it or eat it. Any left over Plutonium
          dust is excellent as an insect repellent. You may  wish  to  keep
          the  substance  in  a  lead box if you can find one in your local
          junk yard, but an old coffee can will do nicely.

          3. Fashion together a metal enclosure to house the  device.  Most
          common  varieties  of  sheet  metal  can be bent to disguise this
          enclosure as, for example, a briefcase, a lunch pail or a  Buick.
          Do not use tinfoil.

          4.  Arrange  the Plutonium into two hemispheral shapes, separated
          by about 4 cm. Use rubber cement to hold the Plutonium together.

          5. Now get about 220 pounds (100 kg)  of  trinitrotoluene  (TNT).
          Gelignite  is much better, but messier to work with. Your helpful
          hardware man will be happy to provide you with this item.

          6. Pack the TNT around the hemisphere arrangement constructed  in
          step 4. If you cannot find Gelignite, feel free to use TNT packed
          in  with Playdo or any modeling clay. Colored clay is acceptable,
          but there is no need to get fancy at this point.

          7. Enclose the structure from step 6 into the enclosure  made  in
          step  3. Use a strong glue such as "Crazy Glue" to bind the hemi-
          sphere arrangement against the enclosure  to  prevent  accidental
          detonation which might result from vibration or mishandling.

          8.  To  detonate the device, obtain a radio controlled (RC) servo
          mechanism, as found in  RC  model  airplanes  and  cars.  With  a
          modicum  of effort, a remote plunger can be made that will strike
          a detonator cap to effect a small explosion. These detonator caps
          can be found in the  electrical  supply  section  of  your  local
          supermarket.  We recommend the "Blast-O-Matic" brand because they
          are no deposit-no return.

          9.  Now  hide  the  completed  device  from  the  neighbours  and
          children.  The garage is not recommended because of high humidity
          and the extreme range of temperatures experienced there.  Nuclear
          devices  have  been  known to spontaneously detonate in these un-
          stable conditions. The hall closet or under the kitchen sink will
          be perfectly suitable.

          10. Now you are the proud owner  of  a  working  thermo-  nuclear
          device! It is a great ice-breaker at parties, and in a pinch, can
          be used for national defense.

          3. THEORY OF OPERATION

          The  device basically works when the detonated TNT compresses the
          Plutonium into a critical mass. The critical mass then produces a
          nuclear chain reaction  similar  to  the  domino  chain  reaction
          (discussed  in this column, "Dominos on the March", March, 1968).
          The chain reaction then promptly  produces  a  big  thermonuclear
          reaction. And there you have it, a 10 megaton explosion!

          4. NEXT MONTH'S COLUMN

          In  next  month's  column,  we  will  learn  how  to  clone  your
          neighbor's wife in six easy steps. This project promises to be an
          exciting weekend full of fun and profit. Common kitchen  utensils
          will be all you need. See you next month!

          5. NOTES

          Plutonium  (PU),  atomic  number  94,  is  a radioactive metallic
          element formed by the decay of Neptunium and is similar in chemi-
          cal structure to Uranium, Saturium, Jupiternium, and Marcisum.

          6. PREVIOUS MONTH'S COLUMNS

          1. Let's Make Test Tube Babies! May, 1979.

          2. Let's Make a Solar System! June, 1979

          3. Let's Make a Economic Recession! July, 1979

          4. Let's Make an Anti-Gravity Machine! August, 1979