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                ³                   *EXCERPTS*                  ³
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                ³           News you may NOT have read.         ³
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                ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ
                 Stonehenge BBS - San Rafael, Ca. - 415 479-8328





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 WHAT THE HELL?

     This Muhmud Jamal guy...Police arrested him after a high speed
     chase in a stolen car, shot him as he tried to pull a gun, found
     rooms full of stolen goods in his apartment has now appeared in
     court pleading not guilty.








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WHY DOGS BARK?

     A research team have found dogs bark because they want to. They did
     not take HECATESE into consideration. You see, Hecatese is a witch 
     that prowls at night and only dogs can see. Therefore on a still night
     and your dog is barking at apparently nothing...you can be sure that
     Hecatese is on the prowl. Sweet Dreams!
     




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LET ME GIVE YOU SOME ADVICE, YOUNG MAN.

     It might not work for you, but it has worked for Jeanne Louis
     Calment, of Arles, France. She ignored all those warnings about
     smoking and drinking. She still does it. She is 116 years old and
     in Guinness records for longivity.







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 MY EXPERIMENT HAS GOTTEN OUT OF HAND.

     That's what happened in a bee breeding experiment in Brazil in
     1957. Some of the bees escaped. Now Killer Bees are entering
     North America. An advance swarm of 3,000 bees was discovered
     in Harlingen, Texas. The invasion has only started.








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FIRE IS LIFE AND COMFORT

     But woodburning stoves are causing too much pollution. About
     1,000,000 tons of wood are burned in more than 700,000 Bay
     Area stoves and fireplaces each year. And, according to officials,
     the burning of wood produces airborne carcinogens and other heavy
     pollutions.  Please! If you must, curtail woodburning stoves, but
     let me still enjoy the warmth and tranquility of an open fireplace.







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HEY GIRLS! I'M GOING TO DANCE FOR YOU....COMPLETELY NUDE.

     Eastern Onion Entertainment Services provides singing telegrams
     and other goofey stunts to those who want to surprise someone.
     This male appears in womens clothing stores and says he's from
     Eastern Onion then proceeds to strip to the buff and dance before
     the female audience (even if they protest). Has happened in
     San Jose, Los Altos, Pleasanton and Mountain View.
     Eastern Onion doesn't know who in the hell the guy is.





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THE FAMILY HOUR

     Larry and Carol Lasiko sat down with their children for a family
     viewing of The Story of Buttons the Bear, Rusty the Fox, and their
     Easter Adventures.  What came on the screen? A STEAMY HARD CORE
     PORN.  Summit Media Corporation is recalling over 20,000 copies
     of "Buttons".






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IT'S ABOUT YOUR DRIVING. CAN I SEE YOUR LICENSE?

     Seems Luis Bacardi is dubbed one of the worst drivers in Florida.
     Has been convicted 8 times for speeding, five times for running traffic
     signals, 3 times for reckless driving and has had his license 
     suspended 11 times and revoked 4 times. How many times wasn't he
     caught?





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AND MORE ABOUT COPS

     I guess that in California, patrolman Tony Gubler can be named
     CHP cop of the year.  In one month he issued 778 citations on
     the Orange Freeway near Santa Ana. "Just doing my job," says
     Gubler.







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MARIN JUDGES JUST WON'T BUY YOUR TRAFFIC EXCUSES.

     So you get a ticket and go to court thinking the judge will be
     lenient because you took the time to appear. Uh! Uh! Out of
     4,320 people appearing before Marin judges, only 193 got off
     the hook.







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7 COME 11

     Ya goin to go to Vegas or Reno to break the bank?  Well, think
     twice. Nevada Casino's grossed 5.24 billion dollars from folks
     like us who feel lucky.






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OUR GOVERNMENT AGENCIES AT WORK

     The U.S. Postal Service says the IRS owes $2 million for under-
     paying its postage bill.  The IRS said they did not understand the
     complex regulations on certified mail.







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ANOTHER WAY TO UTILIZE SOCKS

     There had been a few stories how males have utilized their socks.
     Now, a Michigan AIDS prevention group has come up with another idea.
     They are marketing a line called Safe Sox. Has a flapped pocket on
     one ankle where you can carry a condom.






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THE WHOLE JURY HAS TO LOOK AT MY PENIS?

     In Athens, Georgia, a man tried for the molestion of a 16
     year old boy had to drop his pants in front of the whole
     jury to prove his innocence.  The boy testified the molester
     was circumsized. The accused had to prove he was not
     guilty because he had a foreskin. Not guilty!





                                            ....the end


New [E]xcerpts are posted weekly.
Stonehenge BBS 415 479-8328





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