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                ³                   *EXCERPTS*                  ³
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                ³           News you may NOT have read.         ³
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                ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ
                 Stonehenge BBS - San Rafael, Ca. - 415 479-8328





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NO FIREWORKS!

     The Chico, California City Council enacted a ban on nuclear
     weapons, setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one
     within city limits.









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POLICE TAGGED HIM THE ENEMA BANDIT

     True! A 30 year old man was arrested in Glen Ellyn, Illinois and
     charged with breaking in apartments and robbing people. If the
     victim was a woman, he would give her an enema.








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CRAYOLAS KEEP UP WITH THE TIMES

     High-Tech hues and metallic sheen are amongst the crayons you
     can buy today. These are special effect crayons according to
     the Crayola company. Just the right colors for rockets, satellites,
     and space stations, things kids are drawing now-days. As with the
     cost of high technology, these crayons will cost about 40% more.









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WHY DO JAPANESE KEEP BUYING GOLF GOURSES?

     Good Biz. This is according to Japanese buyer Hidechika Kabayashi.
     Mathematics are as follows:

           Purchase Price         $ 18.2 million
           Improvements             11.8 million
                                           TTL$       $30. Million

Memberships @ $50,000 ea                              $50. Million


                           Profit $ 20 million


            In Japan, golf club memberships can cost $165,000.


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WOULD PG&E LIKE TO HARNESS ALL THE SUN'S ENERGY?

      They'd drool. In each second the sun gives off enough energy
      to illuminate 2,600 Earths filled with 200 watt lightbulbs.
      Generates a staggering four hundred trillion watts of
      power every second.








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JUST A COUPLE OF BENJAMIN FRANKLIN'S SAYINGS FOR YOU TO DIGEST

               1. "Fish and visitors smell in three days."

               2. "Whate'er's begun in anger ends in shame."

               3. "Most people repay small favors, acknowledge
                   middling ones, and repay great ones with
                   ingratitude."







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THE MAN WHO PERFORMED HIS OWN LOBOTOMY

     He was really screwed up but not enough to institutionalize. One
     day, while real depressed, he told his mother he would like to die.
     Guess Mom had had it up to here with her kid so she says, "If your
     life is so wretched, just go shoot yourself. George, (the males
     name) thought it was a good idea. He stuck a 22 rifle barrel in to
     his mouth and pulled the trigger. The bullet took out the part of
     his brain that was raising all of the hell and George lived.
     George is now in college leading a normal life. Physicians Weekly
     referred to George's suicide as "successful radical surgery."





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BE AN EXCELLENT CONVERSATIONALIST AT THE CARD TABLE

     This is all about playing cards.
     The four suits represent four pillars of midieval life.

                 Spades                  Military
                 Hearts                  The Church
                 Diamonds                Merchants
                 Clubs                   Agriculture

     Each king represents an actual ruler.

                 Spades                  David (of Hebrew fame)
                 Hearts                  Charlemagne
                 Diamonds                Julius Caesar
                 Clubs                   Alexander (Greek empire)

     And possible combinations of all 52 cards? Here we go:

     52,238,175,302,353,651,472,640,090,846,516,315,315,003,061,020
     127,886,400,000,000,000. Or, 52X10oo     Lotto anyone?
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EVEN A MUGGER CAN HAVE A BAD DAY

     This one did. Mugged a Mrs. Hollis Sharpe of Los Angeles as
     she walked her poodle. Made off with her handbag that carried
     nothing but a bag of shit she'd just cleaned up after her dog.








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INVENTING THE GADGET FOR GIVING A NEW SENSATION

     Police near St. Petersburg, Florida answered a call for an
     unconscious man. Their report showed he'd knocked himself out
     with some electrical equipment he had been toying with. Seems he
     had assembled a radio transmitter (with Morse Code key), a
     rheostat set at 12 volts and an earphone jack.......all connected
     to his penis. Couldn't find charges to arrest him on.


                                          .........the end



New [E]xcerpts are posted weekly
Stonehenge BBS 415 479-8328

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