Dear Abby,

A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged
gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid-twenties. These
two women go everywhere together and I've never seen a man go into or
leave their apartment. Do you think they could be Lebanese?
 
Dear Abby,

What can I do about all the Sex, Nudity, Fowl Language and Violence On
My VCR?
 
Dear Abby,

I have a man I can't trust. He cheats so much, I'm not even sure the
baby I'm carrying is his.
 
Dear Abby,

I am a twenty-three year old liberated woman who has been on the pill
for two years. It's getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should
share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money
with him.
 
Dear Abby,

I've suspected that my husband has been fooling around, and when
confronted with the evidence, he denied everything - and said it would
never happen again.
 
Dear Abby,

Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in
a good Christian home turn against his own?
 
Dear Abby,

I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now how do I get out?
 
Dear Abby,

My forty year old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50.00 an hour
every week for two and a half years. He must be crazy.
 
Dear Abby,

I was married to Bill for three months, and I didn't know he drank until
one night he came home sober.
 
Dear Abby,

My mother is mean and short tempered - I think she is going through
mental pause.
 
Dear Abby,

You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send
him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex - and he is a
doctor. Now what do I do?
 


Remember these people can vote...


More Dear Abby howlers (with answers, which might even have come from
Ms. Van Buren!):

DEAR ABBY: I've been going steady with this man for six years. We see
each other every night. He says he loves me, and I know I love him, but
he never mentions marriage. Do you think he's going out with me just for
what he can get? GERTIE

DEAR GERTIE: I don't know. What's he getting?


DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend is going to be twenty years old next month. I'd
like to give him something nice for his birthday. What do you think he'd
like? CAROL

DEAR CAROL: Never mind what he'd like. Give him a tie.
 
DEAR ABBY: Are birth control pills deductible? KAY

DEAR KAY: Only if they don't work.
 
DEAR ABBY: Our son was married in January. Five months later his wife
had a ten-pound baby girl. They said the baby was premature. Tell me,
can a baby this big be that early? WONDERING

DEAR WONDERING: The baby was on time, the wedding was late.
 
DEAR ABBY: Do you think about dying much? CURIOUS

DEAR CURIOUS: No, it's the last thing I want to do.
 
DEAR ABBY: Is it possible for a man to be in love with two women at the
same time? JAKE

DEAR JAKE: Yes, and also hazardous.
 
DEAR ABBY: I know boys will be boys, but my 'boy' is seventy-three and
he's still chasing women. Any suggestions? ANNIE

DEAR ANNIE: Don't worry. My dog has been chasing cars for years, but if
he ever caught one, he wouldn't know what to do with it.
 
DEAR ABBY: I have always wanted to have my family history traced, but I
can't afford to spend a lot of money to do it. Any suggestions? SAM IN
CAL.

DEAR SAM: Yes. Run for public office.
 
DEAR ABBY: What inspires you most to write? TED

DEAR TED: The Bureau of Internal Revenue.
 
DEAR ABBY: When you are being introduced, is it all right to say, "I've
heard a lot about you"? RITA

DEAR RITA: It depends on what you've heard.
 
DEAR ABBY: I am forty-four years old and I would like to meet a man my
age with no bad habits. ROSE

DEAR ROSE: So would I.
 
DEAR ABBY: What's the difference between a wife and a mistress? BESS

DEAR BESS: Night and Day.