Pouch 3: X.R.S. Correspondence


Date:	May 18, 1994
To:	XRS
From:	Hasson
Re:	Historians


What a wonderful headache these Xena Scrolls present.  No sooner am I
working on this mysterious parchment suspected to be a letter from Homer,
when the Dean of the History Department calls me to his office.

It seems that one of my students discovered a fragment of the scrolls which
reads:

"The Great Warrior Woman, the Brave Poteidaian Perdicas, The Lady of
Poteidaia, and the other brave souls of Troy, all leap from the Mighty
Wooden Steed..."

Apparently, the student who translated this took issue with the Homeric
version of the Trojan War, using the Xena Scrolls to support her argument.
Brave girl -- but it does force an issue that I have been avoiding since
the discovery -- Where does Xena fit into history and the Homeric myths?

After two hours of pressure from the entire Department of History, telling
me that it is impossible for Trojans to jump out of the Trojan Horse (they
seem to have absolutely no problem with Cassandra being able to see the
future -- which does NOT appear in what fragments we have pieced together
of the Gabriellic account) -- I finally conceded that, yes, it was
premature of this, or any other student, to use the Xena Scrolls in an
undergraduate Homeric History course.

It hurt me to come to that conclusion, but I did get them to concede that
Homer was not writing a Gospel, and that there could be other versions of
the Trojan War story just as valid as Homer's.  I almost got them to admit
that a course called "Homeric History" was as ridiculous as its name -- but
that was asking a bit much.

Considering how slowly the academic world accepts change, I think that
gaining acceptance of The Xena Scrolls is going to be a long, hard-fought
battle.

Hasson


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Date:	May 18, 1994
To:	XRS
From:	Costantakos
Re:	RE:  HISTORIANS


"Gabriellic Account" Araham?

Surely you are not so quick to actually name the original author.  The
letter states, "I've just had read to me the memories and stories of
Gabrielle..." etc.  To assume this to mean that Gabrielle actually wrote
them is taking a grand leap.  As scientists, as well as linguists, we must
be careful not to see what we WANT to see, but what is actually there.

For example:  The stories of Xena and Gabrielle might have been written by
the author of the letter (who MIGHT be Homer), referring to scrolls that he
wrote himself.  "I've just had read to me," might also imply, "I've just
had read BACK to me..." as in a final proof read.

And that's just one argument.  Another could be that the stories of Xena
and Gabrielle were written by a third party.

Of course, Janice, you and Marvin will say I'm being a skeptic.  To which I
say, thank you for the compliment -- for by not locking onto one romantic
notion, a skeptic keeps his mind open to all possibilities.

Evan.


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Date:	May 19, 1994
To:	XRS
From:	Marvin
Re:	Hollywood


My ex-girlfriend in Berkeley finally got over her codependent thing, got a
little self- esteem, is on her own two feet, and decided that she no longer
has to torture me behind my back, or do those little things that have made
my life even more dysfunctional than usual.

What's that got to do with the Xena Scrolls?  Turns out she's been hoarding
my mail, and now that she's canceled the contract she had out on my life,
she's seen fit to send me a pouch of every single piece of postage with my
name on it that has gathered at that address over the past few years.  In
and among the numerous sweepstakes that I had already won, was a letter
from one Rob Tapert of Renaissance Pictures in Hollywood.

It seems that, while preparing to produce a new Hercules TV series, Rob had
read my Doctoral Thesis on Idiom Translation.  Imagine that.  They really
do read things in Hollywood.

Well, I just got off the phone with him.  What a trip!  He's a hell of a
nice guy and very well read on the subject at hand.  He said that, when
Universal Studios asked him and his partner Sam Raimi to do a series of
Hercules movies, they started looking for a different angle on the story.
That's when they found my thesis, which sparked this whole "Joe
Montana-thing."  The idea of approaching the myths, *not* as some academic,
thou-shalt- not-enjoy, Homer-on-a-pedestal, kind of thing -- but *rather*
as a living, breathing, stories-for-the-here-and-now, deal -- really
appealed to him.

Rob was sorry we had not gotten to talk earlier, as they were already in
production.  Then he asked what I was up to, and we spent the next two
hours talking about Xena.  Man-oh- man, does he love Xena!  And when he
heard there were references to Hercules in the Xena Scrolls, that was it!
He's hooked.

He asked what the XRS would think if he included Xena as a character in the
Hercules series.  I can't speak for the rest of us, but I think it's a
great idea.  After all, raising awareness of Xena is part of our purpose,
and what can do that better than a TV show? Why wait around for NOVA to do
a documentary that no one will see, when Hollywood can do for Xena what
they've done for Hercules and the Argonauts?  It may help the grant money
flow as well...

Anyway, I gave him Araham's number, and invited him out for a visit anytime.

Mad Marvin
Goin' Hollywood!


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Date:	May 19, 1994
To:	XRS
From:	Mad Marvin
Re:	RE:  HISTORIANS


Evan,

I've got no problem with your holding us to a higher standard of facts
before we draw conclusions.  But here is another fact to consider:

The "Letter to Dad" is full of colophons, more than I've seen in any other
ancient script. If the person dictating the letter is blind (as Homer was
rumored to be), would this not give the scribes the opportunity to jot down
more than the usual jokes, comments, and warnings to fellow scribes in the
margins?

Compare that to the scrolls.  I haven't seen any colophons in the Xena
Scrolls.  Not one! So, Mr. Skeptic, what do we learn from that?  I'd say,
the chances of the scrolls and the letter being written by the same person
are very slim.  But more than that, since the scrolls have no smart-aleck
comments from uppity scribes, I think they might be more than just an
exemplar.  The Xena Scrolls could be the first draft, the original, the
signed first addition, the Master -- possibly even the one and only?

Mad Marvin
With an expiring Visa in Glyfada


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Date:	May 20, 1994
To:	XRS
From:	Costantakos
Re:	RE:  HOLLYWOOD



>Why wait around for NOVA to do a documentary that no one will see, when
>Hollywood can do for Xena what they've done for Hercules and the
>Argonauts?  It may help the grant money flow as well...


ARE YOU INSANE!?!

Evan.



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Date:	May 20, 1994
To:	XRS
From:	Costantakos
Re:	Scroll #805-01-76922


Araham,

You were correct in your notes, this is an Autolycus story, though this
time he is not against his arch-nemesis King Sisyphus -- but is teamed with
Xena against Malthus, a wealthy Warlord.  What is interesting is that this
Autolycus story has the same lightheartedness that we find in other, later,
Autolycus tales.  And, as we are use to, the King of Thieves is extremely
clever -- though somehow not as clever as the stories' Hero. Compare, for
example, the established story of Autolycus stealing Sisyphus' cows and the
King outwitting him by carving "Stolen by Autolycus" into the cattle's
hooves -- with:

"Xena, not trusting the King of Thieves to [listen to her proposal], bound
the crafty hands of Autolycus.  To which the Master Thief pleaded, `cover,
please, Great Warrior Princess, these bound hands, that those who look on
me may not see the King of Thieves in bondage.'  And so the hands were no
sooner covered in a cloth, than they were free from the ropes by the skill
and cunning of the true King of Thieves.  Poteidaia did see his hands free,
but..."  There is a section missing, then:  "Xena proved again her [wit is]
as strong as her sword"  (a tear here)  "when the Mighty King of Thieves
came crashing down."

What Xena did to outwit Autolycus, we may never know -- but it had to be
terribly clever.

As I have just finished the "Titans" scroll (#805-01-76904 -- I'll be
E-mailing it tomorrow after one final proofread), I can get to work in
earnest on this "King of Thieves" scroll right away.

Evan


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Date	May 21, 1994
To:	XRS
From:	Covington
Re:RE:  HOLLYWOOD



>>Why wait around for NOVA to do a documentary that no one will see, when
>>Hollywood can do for Xena what they've done for Hercules and the Argonauts?
>>It may help the grant money flow as well...


>ARE YOU INSANE!?!

Lighten up, Evan.  I think it's a great idea.  Hollywood -- My hometown,
thank you very much -- is responsible for my interest in the myths in the
first place.  "Jason and the Argonauts," all those Steve Reeves movies,
even that old Hercules cartoon with the stupid theme song -- they were my
introduction to the myths.  I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing today if it
weren't for those campy little flicks.

I've got my popcorn and soda ready for -- "Xena:  The Series!"

Janice.


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Date:	May 21, 1994
To:	XRS
From:	Hasson
Re:	RE:  COLOPHONS


Marvin is not the only one to have noticed the lack of scribes' comments in
this text and other such anomalies.  I am hourly inundated by
archeologists, historians, linguists, Biblical scholars and laymen who have
somehow gleaned information from our lab (or made up what they think to be
true).  Few are willing to accept The Xena Scrolls as fact. The problem has
become so great that our coalition of investors have asked for an
independent analysis of the entire text.  I have no doubt that it will
confirm what we already know -- The stories of Xena are as valid a
mythology as any of the Iliad or Odyssey.

Look for their report within the next few weeks.

Hasson.


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Date	May 21, 1994
To:	XRS
From:	Hasson
Re:	RE:  HOLLYWOOD


I have spoken to Mr. Tapert and he is indeed a very pleasant and well-read
man, which I think is fortunate for us.  What's the American phrase?
"Bottomsup," if anyone want to put Xena on television there's nothing we
can do to stop them.  The character is over three thousand years old, all
legal copyrights have expired.  We are fortunate that Mr. Tapert is so
interested in presenting the stories as close to how they appear in the
scrolls as possible.  I think we should welcome this approach and support
it as much as we can, otherwise we may be faced with "Xena Meets Godzilla."

Mr. Tapert will be taking some time out of a Mediterranean fishing trip to
visit us in a few days.

Hasson.


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Date:	May 22, 1994
To:	XRS
From:	Covington
Re:	Titans


I am awed by the scope and magnitude of this epic story.  From the release
of the three Titans, to the gritty, down-to-earth character of Hesiod, this
scroll reads like a Shakespearean Tragedy.

"Hyperion, the Titan of the Sun, mistook his size for greatness."  What
schoolyard bully, or their victims, has not experienced this tragic flaw?

Hesiod, "the roughest of roughians, the killer-thief who can [smell]
opportunity and exploit it whether with brain or brawn," continues to
mention "the Old Xena."  This makes me think the Titan story comes early in
the scrolls -- but also begs the question:  where are the stories of the
Old Xena?  Are we missing another set of scrolls, or does the story begin
with her transformation and reveals the past only in exposition?  The use
and re-use of Greek heroes makes me think that Xena was included in earlier
myths, and that these scrolls are, at the earliest, "chapter 2" of the
series.

Oh, and Evan, your translation is wonderful.  

Janice


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Date:	May 24, 1994
To:	XRS
From:	Mpappas
Re:	RE:  COLOPHONS

Hello everyone,

I think I've met most of you before, but this is my first post.  Professor
Marvin and Dr. Hasson said it would be okay for me to present these
findings.

It started when Professor Marvin was telling me about the colophons
question, and since I completed the dedication page and am now back in the
main lab, I've been kind of a fifth wheel -- at least until Dr. Hasson can
give me another assignment.

Anyway, I decided to concentrate on the margins of the scrolls that have
not yet been pieced together.  I found some faint scribbles and decided to
check them out with the ultraviolet system.

Well, this is what I found:


"The woe of hearts long dead
Pounds soundly in my head.
For a Warrior Princess lives
In the world of broken..."


And then it just stops, even though there is plenty of room for more.  I
find this really significant because it is the first time we've seen poetry
in the Scrolls.

The other colophon reads:

"Salt pork/jerky, whet stone, new water bag, paper (for me), sugar for Argo
so maybe she won't hate me so much, and new boots for Xena."

Obviously, this is a shopping list.  I found both of these colophons on a
scroll that is about a Princess Diana who, "seemed in all outward shows the
twin of" (missing section) "though with none of the inward countenance of
the Mighty Xena."

Melinda


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Date:	May 25, 1994
To:	XRS
From:	Covington
Re:	...And New Boots for Xena


Melinda,

What an incredible, fantastic, unbelievable discovery!  "And new boots for
Xena," casually mentioned in a shopping list that is jotted down in the
margin of a story ABOUT Xena! Do you realize what this implies?  How many
fictitious characters require their author to buy them boots?

If we are to believe that this is a shopping list and not some kind of
strange scribe's comments, or author's story notes to herself, then that
means Xena was more than just a mythic character!  She was real!

Janice.



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Date:	May 26, 1994
To:	XRS
From:	Belinski
Re:	URGENT


Marvin has been lost in a cave-in!

He arrived this morning for one last visit on his way back to the States
and was exploring a deeper part of cave 805-01 when suddenly the walls gave
way.  We are not sure of his condition, and are digging as fast as we can
to find him, but hopes are not high.

Araham is trying to get in touch with his next of kin, but hasn't a clue
who to contact.  If you have any information in that regard please inform
Araham, or have the parties call me on the dig site satellite phone.

And say a prayer for Marvin.

Boris.