"Cable TV"

I used to think my life was so empty,
I used to think life was passin' me by.
Well, I was just about ready
To curl up and die.
But then one day I got a visit
From the cable company.
Well, they hooked me up, and plugged me right in,
And now I got cable TV.

And now I get to watch the stock report in Korean,
Midget wrestling on Channel Three.
It costs me fifty bucks a month just to see 'em,
Yeah, but that's all right with me.

I got cable TV, (Cable TV)
Cable TV. (Cable TV)
Oh, eighty-three channels of ecstasy.
I love my cable TV, yeah,
I love my cable TV.

I got the Siamese Faith Healer's Network,
The news and weather from Peru,
I got Celebrity Hockey,
The Racketball Channel too.
Bugs Bunny direct from Atlanta,
Mr. Wizard is on at five.
I got a satellite dish on the trunk of my car,
So I can watch MTV while I drive.

I'm talkin' 'bout real quality programs,
The kind you just can't get for free.
Now I never wanna leave my apartment,
'Cause there's just so much for me to see.

On my cable TV, (Cable TV)
Cable TV. (Cable TV)
Well, if you need to find me,
You know where I'll be.
Watchin' my cable TV, yeah,
Watchin' my cable TV.
'Cause I love my cable TV, yeah,
I love my cable TV.

My friends are gettin' kinda worried,
They think I'm turning into some kinda freak.
Oh, but they're just jealous, 'cause I've seen "Porky's"
Twenty-seven times this week.

On my cable TV, (Cable TV)
Cable TV. (Cable TV)
Yeah, the greatest thing that's ever happened to me.
I love my cable TV, yeah,
I love my cable TV.
Well, I gotta have cable TV, yeah,
I need my cable TV.