"I Lost On Jeopardy"

Ohhhhhh...
I was there, to match my intellect, on national TV,
Against a plumber, and an architect, both with a Ph.D.
I was tense, I was nervous,
I guess it just wasn't my night.
Art Fleming gave the answers,
Oh, but I couldn't get the questions right
Ite-ite.

I lost on Jeopardy,
Baby,
(Oooh.)
I lost on Jeopardy,
Baby,
(Oooh.)

Well I knew I was in trouble now,
My hope of winning sank,
'Cause I got the Daily Double now,
And then my mind went blank.
I took Potpourri for one hundred,
And then my head started to spin.
Well, I'm givin' up.  Don Pardo,
Just tell me now what I didn't win,
Yeah, yeah.

I lost on Jeopardy,
Baby,
(Oooh.)
I lost on Jeopardy,
Baby,
(Oooh.)

That's right Al--yoou lost!  And let me tell what you didn't win:
a twenty-volume set of the Encyclopedia International, a case of
Turtle Wax, and a year's supply of Rrice-a-Roni, the San Francisco
treat.  But that's not all!  You also made yourself look like a jerk
in front of millions of people!  And you brought shame and disgrace
on your family name for generations to come!  You don't get to come
back tomorrow!  You don't even get a lousy copy of your home game!
Yoou're a complete loser!!

Don't know what I was thinkin' of,
I guess I just wasn't too bright.
Well, I sure hope I do better
Next weekend on the Price Is Right
Ite-ite.

I lost on Jeopardy,
Baby,
(Oooh.)
I lost on Jeopardy,
Baby,
(Oooh.)
I lost on Jeopardy,
Baby...