Ethics Of Love Spells 
           By: Mike Nichols Of The Magick Lantern BBS 
                   
Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most   
fatal to true happiness.' -- Bertrand Russell    
    
    
                       CHARMED, I'M SURE   
                   The Ethics of Love Spells   
   
   To gain the love of someone: On a night of the full moon,   
   walk to a spot beneath your beloved's bedroom window, and   
   whisper his/her name three times to the night wind..   
                                            Ozark love spell   
  
  It seems to be an immutable law of nature. You are  
interviewed by a local radio or TV station, or in some local
newspaper. The topic of the interview is Witchcraft or
Paganism, and you spend the better part of an hour brilliantly
articulating your beliefs, your devotion to Goddess and nature,
the difference between Witchcraft and Satanism, and generally
enlightening the public at large. The next day, you are flooded
with calls.

  Is it people complimenting you on such a splendid
interview? No. People wanting to find out more about the
religion of Wicca? Huh-uh. People who are even vaguely 
interested in what you had to say??? Nope. Who is it? It's 
people asking you to do a love spell for them! This used to 
drive me nuts. I'd take a deep breath and patiently explain 
(for the thousandth time) why I won't even do love spells for
myself, let alone anyone else.

  This generally resulted in my caller becoming either angry
or defensive, but seldom more enlightened. 'But don't you DO
magic?', they ask. 'Only occasionally,' I answer. 'And aren't
most magic spells love spells?', they persist.

  That was the line I really hated, because I knew they were
right! At least, if you look at the table of contents of most
books on magic, you'll find more love spells than any other
kind. This seems as true for the medieval grimoire as for the
modern drugstore paperback.

  Why? Why so many books containing so many love spells? Why
such an emphasis on a kind of magic that I, personally, have
always considered very negative?

  And to make matters even more confusing, the books that do
take the trouble of dividing spells between 'positive' and
'negative' magic invariably list love spells under the first
heading. After all, they would argue, love is a good thing.
There can never be too much of it.
  Therefore, any spell that brings about love must be a GOOD
spell. Never mind that the spell puts a straightjacket on
another's free will, and then drops it in cement for good
measure. And that is why I had always assumed love magic to be
negative magic.

  Years ago, one of the first things I learned as a novice
Witch was something called the Witch's Rede, a kind of 'golden
rule' in traditional Witchcraft. It states, 'An it harm none,
do what thou will.'

  One uses this rede as a kind of ethical litmus test for a
spell. If the spell brings harm to someone -- anyone
(including yourself!) -- then don't do it! Unfortunately, this 
rule contains a loophole big enough to fly a broom through.

  It's commonly expressed, 'Oh, this won't HARM them; it's
really for their own good.' When you hear someone say that,
take cover, because something especially nasty is about to
happen.

  That's why I had to develop my own version of the Witch's
Rede. Mine says that if a spell harms anyone, OR LIMITS THEIR
FREEDOM OF THOUGHT OR ACTION IN ANY WAY, then consider it
negative, and don't do it.

  Pretty strict, you say ? Perhaps. But there's another law
in Witchcraft called the Law of Threefold Return. This says
that whatever power you send out, eventually comes back to you
three times more powerful.

  So I take no chances. And love spells, of the typical
make-Bobby- love-me type, definitely have an impact on
another's free will. So why are they so common? It's taken me
years to make peace with this, but I think I finally
understand. The plain truth is that most of us NEED love.

  Without it, our lives are empty and miserable. After our
basic survival needs have been met, we must have affection and
companionship for a full life. And if it will not come of its
own accord, some of us may be tempted to FORCE it to come.

  And nothing can be as painful as loving someone who doesn't
love you back. Consequently, the most common, garden-variety
spell in the world is the love spell.

  Is there ever a way to do a love spell and yet stay within
the parameters of the Witch's Rede? Possibly. Some teachers
have argued that if a spell doesn't attempt to attract a
SPECIFIC person into your life, but rather attempts to attract
the RIGHT person, whomever that may be, then it is not negative
magic.

  Even so, one should make sure that the spell finds people
who are 'right' for each other -- so that neither is harmed,
and both are made happy.

  Is there ever an excuse for the make-Bobby-love-me type of
spell? Without endorsing this viewpoint, I must admit that the
most cogent argument in its favor is the following:

  Whenever you fall in love with someone, you do everything
in your power to impress them. You dress nicer, are more
attentive, witty, and charming.

  And at the same time, you unconsciously set in motion some
very powerful psychic forces. If you've ever walked into a
room where someone has a crush on you, you know what I mean.

  You can FEEL it. Proponents of this school say that a love
spell only takes the forces that are ALREADY there -- MUST be
there if you're in love --and channels them more efficiently.

  But the energy would be there just the same, whether or not
you use a spell to focus it.

  I won't attempt to decide this one for you. People must
arrive at their own set of ethics through their own
considerations. However, I would call to your attention all
the cautionary tales in folk magic about love spells gone awry. 
  Also, if a love spell has been employed to join two people
who are not naturally compatible, then one must keep pumping
energy into the spell.

  And when one finally tires of this (and one will, because
it is hard work!) then the spell will unravel amidst an 
emotional and psychic hurricane that will make the stormiest
divorces seem calm by comparison. Not a pretty picture.

  It should be noted that many spells that pass themselves
off as love spells are, in reality, sex spells. Not that
there's anything surprising in that, since our most basic needs 
usually include sex. But I think we should be clear from the 
outset what kind of spell it is.

  And the same ethical standards used for love spells can
often be applied to sex spells. Last year, the very quotable
Isaac Bonewits, author of 'Real Magic', taught a sex magic
class here at the Magick Lantern, and he tossed out the
following rule of thumb: Decide what the mundane equivalent of 
your spell would be, and ask yourself if you could be arrested 
for it.

  For example, some spells are like sending a letter to your
beloved in the mail, whereas other spells are tantamount to
abduction. The former is perfectly legal and normal, whereas
the latter is felonious.

  One mitigating factor in your decisions may be the
particular tradition of magic you follow. For example, I've
often noticed that practitioners of Voudoun (Voodoo) and
Santeria seem much more focused on the wants and needs of
day-to-day living than on the abstruse ethical considerations
we've been examining here.

  That's not a value judgement -- just an observation. For
example, most followers of Wicca STILL don't know how to react
when a Santerian priest spills the blood of a chicken during a
ritual -- other than to feel pretty queasy.

  The ethics of one culture is not always the same as
another. And speaking of cultural traditions, another 
consideration is how a culture views love and sex.

  It has often been pointed out that in our predominant
culture, love and sex are seen in very possessive terms, where
the beloved is regarded as one's personal property. If the
spell uses this approach, treating a person as an object,
jealously attempting to cut off all other relationships, then
the ethics are seriously in doubt.

  However, if the spell takes a more open approach to love
and sex, not attempting to limit a person's other relationships 
in any way, then perhaps it is more defensible. Perhaps. Still, 
it might be wise to ask, Is this the kind of spell I'd want
someone to cast on me?

  Love spells. Whether to do them or not. If you are a
practitioner of magic, I dare say you will one day be faced
with the choice. If you haven't yet, it is only a matter of
time. 

  And if the answer is yes, then which spells are ethical and
which aren't? Then you, and only you, will have to decide
whether 'All's fair in love and war', or whether there are
other, higher, metaphysical considerations.