Santa in Court



     You are accused, Mr. Santa Claus, alias Nick, alias Kris Kringle, age
unknown, of no fixed address, with the following charges:

 Failing to apply for landed immigrant status from Finland to the North Pole

 Crossing the U.S.A. border illegally on Dec. 25 of every year as far backas
records go

 Failing to oparate a union toy shop, and not paying your elves and dwarfs the
minimum wages, provide paid vacations and wages at time-and-a-half for more
than 44 hours work weeks

 Failing to transmit unemployment insurance payments, income tax deductions,
and Canadian Pension payments tp the proper authorities onbehalf of your
employees

 You are also accuses of the illegal entry of millions of Canadian homes on
December 25 of each year

 Violating the Federal-Anti-Combines Investagation Act by operating a tight
monopoly

 Failing to file a flight plan for your travals

 Failing to equipt your vehicle with seat belts, or proparly fitting your
reindeer with emission control devises
 
 Not declaring as taxable income the cookies and milk left for you by millions
each year

 Illegally copeting with the Canadian Post Office, And possibly breaking drug
laws by administering an unauthorized drug to Rudolph to make his nose light
up... and finally parking in a no-parking zone, namely rooftops, and having no
record of either a driver's or pilot's licence ever being issued to a Mister
Claus.  Faced with all these accusations and understandings their severity,
have you any statment to make before I....wish you a...MERRY CHRISTMAS and
dismiss these charges?