Cream of wheat of the gods
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Cream of wheat of the gods
Last updated 6/12/2012 1:01:15 AM. Recipe ID 24569. Report a problem with this recipe.
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      Title: Cream of wheat of the gods
 Categories: Cereals, Ceideburg 2
      Yield: 2 Servings
      1    Free Flow Recipe
  What's so easy as Cream of Wheat you ask?  Well, consider this. It's
  much like rice in that it's a very bland, filling and wholesome food.
  Now everyone knows how hard it is to cook good rice, right?  Well,
  the same is true of Cream of Wheat, but if you follow these explicit
  directions, you will create a cereal masterpiece.  Don't be cowed by
  the fact that the procedure must be as rigidly followed as that of
  the Japanese tea ceremony. After a couple of years you're bound to
  get it right. Just follow the recipe on the box for however many
  servings you want, but do it in the following fashion.  (I consider a
  double serving to be enough for one person.) Do NOT use the recipe
  variation for using milk! This is an abominable perversion of the
  philosophy of Cream of Wheat and will give you much too rich a bowl
  of cereal. I use "quick" Cream of Wheat. Although all three varieties
  seem to taste pretty much the same when cooked I feel guilty using
  the "instant" and am too impatient to use the "regular", so "quick"
  is just fine.  The auxiliary ingredients are important too.
  Fer'instance, if you can't get the proper brand of bread, you'd best
  move on to the next recipe.  1 box Cream of Wheat (make two servings
  for each person), Salt, Water 4 slices of Northridge oatmeal bread
  for each person, Butter slightly chilled in the fridge (any normal,
  salted butter will do), Sugar (white granulated ONLY!), Milk (any
  type but chocolate or buttermilk). UTENSILS: A medium sized
  Revere-ware copper bottomed pan. Some flexibility is allowed here.
  'Visions' can be used too. A Pyrex measuring cup. Other types may be
  substituted. An old fashioned glass sugar dispenser++the kind with a
  metal top and a little flap that covers the hole.  You can fudge on
  this too, but you're skirting dangerously close to loosing the
  authenticity of the dish, especially if you've already compromised
  and used 'Visions' to cook the cereal... A table knife. Throw caution
  to the winds and use any type you like, except a steak knife. A
  spoon.  The pattern isn't important, but the plainer it is the
  better. A bowl. Use only a thick, diner-style, ceramic one. A glass
  for milk. A jelly glass would be ideal. PROCEDURE: First toast the
  bread. Set the toaster so the bread is well toasted. Small charred
  areas around the edge are perfectly acceptable. Let it sit in the
  toaster for a moment to crisp up a bit, then set it aside to cool. It
  MUST be room temperature (a cool room, at that) when buttered so that
  the butter does not melt. Next, make the Cream of Wheat.  Boil the
  water, salt it, then take a wooden spoon and briskly stir the boiling
  water counter clockwise while dribbling in the Cream of Wheat from
  the Pyrex measuring cup. Don't rush the process or you risk lumpy
  Cream of Wheat! (I once fixed this for a person who liked lumpy Cream
  of Wheat.  I couldn't get it to lump!) Turn down the heat and let the
  stuff simmer, bubbling gently, until it's approaching the proper
  consistency.  Well, since you asked, the proper consistency is thick
  enough so that a swirl made in the surface will slowly subside. Stir
  it every so often.  Once the proper thickness is reached, take it off
  the heat and stir vigorously several times to release the steam and
  thicken it up a bit more. The reason for this will be obvious in a
  moment. After, and only after, the Cream of Wheat is done, butter the
  toast with the slightly chilled butter. This will allow the cereal to
  cool so it will be ready to eat when you are. The butter should be
  chilled just to the point where is holds its shape but is not hard to
  spread++very important! I tend to favor a moderately lavish amount of
  butter, but this is up to personal taste. Margarine is NOT, NOT, NOT
  acceptable in this preparation. Put the toast on a plate and dish up
  the cereal.  Get the milk out of the fridge and grab the sugar and
  put everything on the table.  The table can be either formica or
  wood++the recipe is very flexible in this regard. Place the plate
  with the toast to the upper right of the bowl (or upper left if
  you're left handed). Pour a glass of milk and put it to the left (or
  right) side of the plate of toast. Now, take a moment after you sit
  down and savor the sight in front of you. Then get up and get a roll
  of paper towels. Reseat yourself. Next, gently pour a tablespoon or
  two of milk into the bowl with the Cream of Wheat and stir it in.
  This will complete the cooling and add just a hint of richness to the
  Spartan simplicity of water cooked Cream of Wheat. Now sprinkle a
  light dusting of the sugar over the surface of the cereal. It will
  slightly glaze and become transparent. Take a piece of the toast and
  break off a chunk that is comfortably bite sized. Using the toast as
  an edible spoon, reverently scoop up a dollop of the sugar glazed
  cereal with the toast and pop it into your mouth. (Do NOT use the
  spoon to eat the cereal. It's only for stirring in the milk
  initially.) Paying close attention, respectfully chew the morsel. All
  the while be aware of how the cool, creamy smoothness of the butter
  slowly melts from the warmth of the cereal. Note the satisfying
  crunch of the oatmeal bread as contrasted to the rich plasticity of
  the cereal. Contrast the blandness of the cereal to the slightly
  charred, nutty flavor of the toast. Marvel at how such mundane
  ingredients can create such a symphony of tastes and textures.
  Continue in this fashion, working clockwise around the bowl, until
  the entire glazed surface of the cereal is gone, then sprinkle more
  sugar on and repeat the process. If you've done everything right, the
  four slices of toast will disappear at exactly the same moment as the
  last smidgen of cereal. Now sit back for a moment and bemoan the fact
  that the experience is over. Dab resignedly at your lips with paper
  towel, fold it neatly and put into the empty bowl to signify the end
  of the meal.  Heave a deep sigh of contentment and give thanks for
  the fact that you live in America, that great country that has made
  possible this pinnacle of gustatory delight! Wash the dishes. Posted
  by Stephen Ceideburg; December 24 1990.

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Recipe ID 24569 (Apr 03, 2005)

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