AOH :: P13-06.TXT

R.A.G. - Rodents Are Gay

                               ==Phrack Inc.==

                     Volume Two, Issue 13, Phile #6 of 10


           Rodents Are Gay

        Starring Codes Master

   Welcome to the first and last issue of R.A.G. This month we will feature a
nauseating article about this months feature idiot - Codes Master. Remember,
this file is not for you people with weak stomachs and parental discretion
is advised. Rated R (for rodent).

   First, a little introduction. The purpose of R.A.G. is to seek out and
destroy potential idiots, assholes and posers. Obviously Codes fits into all
these catagorys. We obtained a taped interview with Codes at his home in
Mickey, Mississipi, and was able to get a few truths revealed. Here is a
small transcript of the interview. "ME" is the interviewer, "HIM" is Codes.

ME:  Nice place you have here. I see your into art. Ah, thats an interesting
     peice there. What do you call it?
HIM: Thanks. Thats called, "Mickey's Rat Trap". It shows the valiant Mickey
     cleverly stealing the cheese from the trap without setting it off.
     Actually, it was quite a bargain, and cost me mere $250.
ME:  Thats interesting. You seem to have an obsession with Mickey Mouse and
     other rodents (looking around I see portraits of Mighty Mouse, Jerry,
     Speedy and others).
HIM: Its just one of my hobbys.
ME:  Okay, anyway, on with the interview. We understand that you consider
     yourself, and I quote, "an expert on Primos". But we have seen
     conflicting views when it comes to the truth of this. Alot of people
     seem to think you don't know anything, and what you do know has been
     learned in a very short period of time. Is there any truth to this?
HIM: Uh, would you like something to drink? Some treats perhaps? I have
     some excellent chees......
ME:  No thank you. Back to the question, are you really a Prime expert?
HIM: Well, I, uh...I guess you could say that. Have you ever read my Prime...
ME:  No I havent. Sources tell me that you have claimed you had system access
     on the Henco Prime on Telenet. But my sources know for a fact that you
     haven't. Is there any truth to this?
HIM: Well, no...
ME:  Thats what I thought. Also, I would like to bring up the little war
     between you and Evil Jay. You have claimed that the reason you didn't
     see eye-to-eye was because both of you were working on seperate versions.
     Yet, we both know that aside from versions lower than 19 there are
     not too many changes so we really dont understand your comment.
HIM: What kind of interview is...
ME:  We also understand that you posted a message on Phantasie Realm that
     contained the, and I quote, "new 617 Cosmos dialups". Yet these dialups
     have been around for years and died more than a month before your post.
     Any comments, Codes?
HIM: I....
ME:  Okay, how about your "Real Hackers, Phreakers and Trashers Guide".
     You made some interesting comments on there, such as, "Real phreaks are
     mostly pirates" and "Real phreaks dont have handles like Mr Phreak".
     You obviously didn't take a look at your own handle, but we will skip
     that little misunderstanding. The thing we find curious about the file
     was that it was written in January of this year (1987). At this time, you
     were a member on some respectful systems, such as Shadowspawn. What we
     cant understand is why a phreak, who is on some pretty good boards, would
     write such a rodentish file. Comments?
HIM: You know how I feel about rodents. (HE glances fondly at Mickey portrait)
ME:  I see. How long have you been hacking a phreaking?
HIM: Uh, about a year or les...
ME:  I see. Is it true you were an infamous TMC code poster last summer,
     sometimes posting up to 30 TMC codes per message, but never anything else?
ME:  I see. Isn't it true that the majority of your posts since you have been
     accepted on some major boards, have been advertisments for your somewhat
     faulty Prime hacking files?
HIM: You have to advertise nowadays to get any recognition for anything.
    You know?1
ME:  Well, isn't that special. We got a chance to see your application to
     Atlantis, and noticed that you said you had experience with Vax/VMS, RSTS
     and some other operating systems. But close sources who know you well
     tell us this is a lie, and if you did know anything its probably how to
     get a directory, chat with a user and other general crap. Is this true?
ME:  Well thats about it for today. Thanks alot Codes Master. May the force
     be with you.
HIM: WAIT A...(He starts to grab the Codes amazement, a mask
     falls off and...)
ME:  Thats right! We have you on tape now buddy. Your life is ruined...

    The rest is to graphically violent to show here. But Jay emerged unscathed
  to hand us the copy of this interview. Codes was last seen walking towards
  Katheryn Hamilton Mental Center and had no comment.

    So, we have unraveled the mysterys of one of the greatest posers of our
  time and exposed the man to what he really was all the time. A mouse.
  A fiendish poser, seeking to infilterate the higher levels of hacking and
  phreaking, for his own greedy amusement. Everything in this article was
  true, and we advise sysops to think twice about admitting Codes "Mighty
  Mouse" Master on your bulletin board system. Thank you and have a nice day.


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