AOH :: P36-03.TXT

In Living Computer starring Knight Lightning


                               ==Diet Phrack==

                 Volume Three, Issue Thirty-Six, File 3 of 11

                      I n   L i v i n g   C o m p u t e r
                      >>>   >>>>>>>>>>>   >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
                      "Knight Lightning meets... The Man"

           Adapted from "In Living Color" on Fox Television Network

                           Starring Knight Lightning

Featuring:
      __________________________________
     |                                  |
     |  KL = Knight Lightning           |
     |  SP = Judge Dredd                |
     |  CD = Crimson Death              |
     |  DP = Dispater                   |
     |                                  |
     |  JD = Jerome Dalton (Bellcore)   |
     |  DB = David Bauer (AT&T)         |
     |  TM = The Man... you'll see!     |
     |__________________________________|


+ Picture the scene...

A computer conference in Chicago, Illinois.

KL is speaking with several members of the computer underground...

KL:  "The whole concept is based on freedom of information.  People should
     share information, because sharing benefits everyone."

CD:  "That is what my board, Free Speech, is all about.  Want some c0dez?"

SP:  "Hey Knight Lightning!  Do you want to write for my *elite* newsletter,
     NIA!?"

KL:  "I don't think so... KL don't play that!"  (At this point KL whips out a
     large two-by-four and clunks Judge Dredd and Crimson Death on the head for
     daring to suggest something so ridiculous).  Bop! Bop!

Meanwhile, watching closely from a short distance stood two men in dark suits
and dark glasses.  It was Jerome Dalton and David Bauer from AT&T Security.

DB:  "See over there, that's KL.  He would be perfect."

JD:  "Yes I see.  Perhaps we can persuade him to come aboard."

A few minutes later as Knight Lightning nears the exit, he is approached by
Bauer and Dalton.

JD:  "Excuse me a moment KL... we'd like to discuss some business with you."

KL:  "What the hell do *you* want?"

DB:  "Well KL, with all of these hackers acting like they have civil rights, we
     need some help over at AT&T Security to really bust them.  We want you to
     come work for us."

KL:  (Gripping his two-by-four tightly and tensing to swing)
     "KL don't pl..."

JD:  "The job pays $1,000,000 a year!"

KL:  "...have a problem with that." ($ $ $ $ $ $)

DB:  "Congratulations KL and welcome aboard.  You made the right decision."
_______________________________________________________________________________

+ One week later...

Dispater of Phrack Newsletter spots Knight Lightning, Jerome Dalton, and David
Bauer coming out of a security meeting with the Secret Service.

DP:  "KL!  Hey, what are you doing with those guys?  Look I need to get some
     advice about running Phrack."

JD:  "Oh no you don't!  KL don't play that no more!"

The three of them walk past Dispater...

DP:  "You're not KL the hacker..." (tears in his eyes) "You're KL the FED!"
_______________________________________________________________________________

Did Knight Lightning SELL OUT the hacking community for money!?  Has he become
a "FED"?  To find out the answers to these questions and more, keep reading!
_______________________________________________________________________________

+ The scene is Cherry Hill, New Jersey... AT&T Headquarters, where the entire
  country and the United States government are secretly run by "The Man."

DB:  "We're very glad to have you here.  Without your presence in the hacking
     community, they'll fall apart any day now.  That's why we had our friends
     at Bellsouth single you out and falsify the costs and nature of that E911
     document."

JD:  "Right.  But none of that is important now that you are here with us.  I
     guess you finally realized that since we at AT&T run the entire country,
     it was futile to continue opposing us."

KL:  "Yeah.  It was the only decision that made sense at this point.  So when
     do I get to meet 'The Man'?"

DB:  "In time KL, in time."

JD:  "You don't get to meet 'The Man' until we're sure you are a total
     sellout."

KL:  "Oh.  Well AT&T is the greatest corporation in the world."

DB:  "C'mon KL, you can do better than that... most of America is already
     brainwashed into believing that..."

KL:  "All computer hackers are scum and don't deserve any civil rights, we
     should seize all their computers and lock them up for ten years each."

JD:  "and..."

KL:  "and... Bill Cook is a great humanitarian, an honest man who never was
     malicious, everything he did to me and many others was totally reasonable
     and necessary."

WHOOOOOOOOOSH! (A giant door at the other end of the room swings open.)

DB:  "You did it KL!  You have totally sold out!"

JD:  "Its time for you to meet 'The Man.'"

After a short round of applause and a high-five, Knight Lightning walks towards
the door and enters the room.  He stares across a great desk where a large
chair is turned so that its occupant is facing the other direction.

TM:  "Come in KL.  Its time that we met."

KL:  (Steps closer to the desk)

TM:  (Swinging around to face KL)  "Well, well, well Knight Lightning."

KL:  "Well, well, well, The Man; Robert Allen, Mr. Establishment himself."

TM:  "That's enough KL.  I have BIG plans for you!"

KL:  "Well, I really like what you did to Len Rose."

TM:  "That is just the beginning!  What I have in mind is for you to get us
     information on every hacker in America.  Then we'll fabricate some more
     dollar figures, like on that E911 text file and login C, and create some
     logs that show them breaking in to some of our systems.  Maybe we'll even
     let a few service outages happen just so we can blame it on them (we screw
     up enough times by ourselves anyway).  Then we'll use our massive
     influence over the government to make sure the prosecutors find every
     potential law they can to use against them and the next thing you know,
     all these hackers will be behind bars where they belong."

     "What do you think of all that, KL?"

KL:  "I'm listening..."

TM:  "Now before you can become an official member of the AT&T Security
     Establishment, it is customary to drop your pants and bend over in front
     of The Man."

KL:  "Drop my pants and bend over?"

TM:  "Yes... every person at AT&T and Bellcore security has undergone this
     ritual."

KL:  "Well Bob, I'll tell you what I think... here is a new ritual for you to
     consider..."

     (A sudden and exhilarating display of ninja-like maneuvers with the magic
     two-by-four was followed by the loud and all too familiar sounds!):

                          "*BOP!*   *BOP!*   *BOP!*"

     (KL had slammed Robert Allen for plotting such injustices).

     "KL don't play that!"

     "You thought you had me working for you, but really I was just playing
     along as part of my secret plan to *BOP!* The Man.  You stink!"

TM:  "You fool, you don't know what you've done.  You've just made the biggest
     mistake of your life!"

KL:  "Yeah, maybe, but I hold my principles higher than your money can ever
     buy.  What you do here is criminal and if the government won't crawl out
     from under its rock and say something then I will!"
_______________________________________________________________________________

+ A few days later at the next 2600 meeting in New York City...

DP:  "I knew you would never really sell out, KL."

KL:  "Yes, you see I had to pretend so I could get to The Man."

SP:  "Oh, so does that mean that you'll come back and write for NIA now?"

CD:  "If money is not so important let me have that $1,000,000 they gave you."

KL:  "KL don't play that!"

     (Again KL whips out a large two-by-four and clunks the foolish Judge Dredd
     on the head for daring to suggest something so ridiculous.

     He missed clobbering the frightened and cowering Crimson Death again,
     because in a moment of panic, CD chose to retire from the community and
     instantaneously disappeared, leaving only his nose-ring behind.)

                                    *BOP!*
_______________________________________________________________________________



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