TES Presents

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                      | Talking Your Way Out of Trouble |
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                              written by Dissident

     No matter what you're doing, sooner or later someone is going to ask
questions...  Sooooo, here's a few things to use...

     You've been scanning (demon dialing/war dialing/etc) the local area,
and you have a big list of busy numz to check out.  Hey, a voice answered!

     "This is Dominoes Pizza, did you order a pizza?"
     "Is John there?"
     "This is <telco> Repair Service, are you having trouble with your lines?"
(or use our Repair Service Scam!)
     "Uhhhh, I think I have the wrong number..."
     "Why did you call here and hang up?  Yes you did!  I've got redial and 
you're who it called back!  Maybe I should turn this over to the phone co.!"
     "<heavy breathing>"
     "Sir, this is Lt. Grizzard of the <city> Police Dep't.  We have a woman
here who has filed a complaint against you.  Would you mind coming down to the
station, or will we have to come and get you?"  (not RAPE you idiots)
     "This is Radical Rick from WFUK, for $50 WHO AM I???"
     "Hello?  No, you called me.  What do you want?"

     Or maybe you've been scanning and someone who has the redial shit calls
back...

     <ring> <ring> <ring> <ring> <ring> <ring> <ring> <ring> <ring> <ring>
(get the hint?)
     "Dominoes Pizza, will you hold?"
     "I'm sorry, I'm babysitting, and the brats are playing with the phone."
     "My modem dialed the wrong number."
     "Why did you call here and hang up?  Yes you did, I've got redial, too!"
     "<heavy breathing>  How'm I supposed to do it? <pant> I'm banging my
sister's piehole!"
     "<city> Police Department, Lt. Grizzard speaking, may I help you?"

     Hmmm, you could be out trashing, and a rent-a-cop walks up or something-

     "Well, you know how teenagers are, we were just being curious..."
     "I was looking for boxes, we're moving."
     "I think my ring fell off in a trash can in the store, and I was just
looking for it..."
     "I was looking for carbons so I could card some shit, what of it?"
If you were throwing a ball- "I'm just looking for my ball."  Or balls if you
want to be funny about it.
     "This is private property?  OH!  I'm SORRY!  I didn't know that!"

     Oh well, I guess that's about it for this file...
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