From: Usman <akeju00@ionaprep.pvt.k12.ny.us>

NEW BARBIE DOLL!
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(LA, California) Mattel announces their new line of Barbie products, the "Hacker
Barbie." These new dolls will be released next month. The aim of these dolls is
to revert the stereotype that
women are numerophobic, computer-illiterate, and academically challenged.

This new line of Barbie dolls comes equipped with Barbie's very own xterminal
and UNIX documentation as well as ORA's "In a Nutshell" series. The Barbie is
robed in a dirty button-up shirt and a pair of worn-out jeans with Casio
all-purpose watches and thick glasses that can set ants on fire. Pocket
protectors and HP calculators optional. The new Barbie has the incredible
ability to stare at the screen without blinking her eyes and to go without
eating or drinking for 12 hours straight. Her vocabulary mainly consists of
technical terms such as "IP address,"
"TCP/IP," "kernel," "NP-complete," and "Alpha AXP's."

"We are very excited about this product," said John Olson, Marketting Executive,
"and we hope that the Hacker Barbie will offset the damage incurred by the
mathophobic Barbie." A year ago,
Mattel released Barbie dolls that say, "Math is hard," with condescending
companions Ken. The Hacker Barbie's Ken is an incompetent consultant who
frequently asks Barbie for help.

The leading feminists are equally excited about this new line of Barbie dolls.
Naomi Wuuf says, "I believe that these new dolls will finally terminate the
notion that women are inherently inferior when it comes to mathematics and the
sciences. However, I feel that Ken's hierarchical superiority would simply
reinforce the patriarchy and oppress the masses." Mattel made no comment.

Parents, however, are worried that they would become technologically behind by
comparison to the children when the Hacker Barbie comes out. "My daughter Jenny
plays with the prototype Hacker
Barbie over yonder for two days," says Mrs. Mary Carlson of Oxford, Mississippi,
"and as y'all know, she now pays my credit card bill. Ain't got no idea how she
duz it, but she surely duz it. I jus don't wanna be looked upon as a dumb mama."
Mattel will be offering free training courses for those who purchase the Hacker
Barbie.

The future Hacker Barbie will include several variations to deal with the
complex aspects of Barbie. "Hacker Barbie Goes to Jail" will teach computer
ethics to youngsters, while "BARB1E R1TES L1KE BIFF!!!" will serve as an
introduction to expository writing.