Mr. Cranky rates Hackers

Hackers

Mr. Cranky's rating: (4 Bombs)

Fisher Stevens's claim to fame is that he spent years riding Michelle
Pfeiffer's coattails only to be finally cut loose into obscurity as the
forgotten half of another doomed Hollywood relationship. Every time
Michelle would appear on Entertainment Tonight attending another gala
premiere the comment that echoed throughout the land like the explosion of
a nuclear bomb was: "Who's that little weasely guy next to Michelle?"

Given that Fisher has the build and presence of an anorexic supermodel, it
probably made complete sense to some mongoloid film executive to cast him
in the part of a villain in this Cyberspace/Dance Club flick. Since in real
life Fisher is about as frightening as a drooling puppy (OH MY GOD!! IT'S A
DROOLING PUPPY!! EVERYBODY HEAD FOR SHELTER!!), you might as well make him
a villain in cyberspace where he might, if he tries very, very hard, at
least be able to tweak somebody's pride.

As "The Plague," Stevens is the antagonist to teenage hackers Dade (Johnny
Lee Miller) and Kate (Angelina Jolie). "The Plague" plans to blackmail his
own company by threatening a worldwide environmental disaster wrought by a
computer virus.

Carrying the idea of "War Games" into the realm of the ridiculously stupid,
director Iain Softley fashions a world where everything is accessible by
computer. Kids can spit money out of teller machines, change their grades
and disable people's credit cards with the touch of a button. Softley
obviously thought making a decent movie would be as easy.