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Taken from: Times-Colonist newspaper, January 8th, 1996 --- PERSONAL ADVICE On-line flirting good cause for husband's concern ANN LANDERS DEAR ANN LANDERS: The letter from "Outmaneuvered in Arizona" hit close to home. He was the man whose wife began an affair over the computer. Six months ago, my wife, "Betsy," told me I had been neglecting her because of my long hours on the night shift. Thinking it would occupy her time, I showed Betsy how to use the on-line chat service. Before long she was spending hours every night on the computer, chatting with men. Betsy told me not to be threatened. She even showed me some pornographic images sent to her by one of her new "friends." I asked why she would continue to talk to people who would send such kinky pictures. She insisted they were "nice guys" and it was all in fun. Two month's ago, I found a computer message Betsy had saved. She had told someone named "Bryan" that she was falling in love with him and was eager to meet him "in a neutral city" to find out if they were soul mates. When I confronted her, she said it was a joke. Then I found a message saying she was sending Bryan a video of her stripping. This shook me up and made me realize the fun and games had gone too far. I told Betsy the computer was destroying our marriage. She said I was being ridiculous. Last week, I got on the day shift and hope this will help. Meanwhile, Betsy is still on-line with Bryan, running up charges in excess of $300 per month. I need your help, Ann. FRESNO DEAR FRESNO: I have been hearing a lot of late about on-line romances and have concluded that there are now hundreds of married men and women flirting with strangers in this manner. You and your wife should seek joint counceling at once. Other married folks who are engaging in what appears to be a harmless pas- time should be aware that they are playing with fire. Therapists have labeled this a genuine addiction.