TUCoPS :: Privacy :: dui_out.txt

How to NOT get a DUI

Rules for the troubled motorist
This is for " Fucking the Police " ONLY.

Rules to abide by:
1. If pulled over, get out of the car as soon as the car stops. This will take
away the opportunity for them to give you a seat belt ticket.

2. If carying drugs. Pull over as soon as you see them. Get out of the car and
start running. Never stop and "hide" keep on running until you are a safe
distance away. Call a friend and have them pick you up. When you get home or
to a pay phone, call the police station and report your car stolen.  That will
eliminate any chance of you getting busted and they will freely give you your
car back.

3. If intoxicated (drunk). Run like in rule #2 but when you get a safe
distance make yourself throw up. This will get some if not most of the alcohol
out of your system.  Call the police and report your car stolen and then wait
until the next day to pick it up. Always leave the keys with the car. Then you
can say you left the keys in the ignition and you went in your house to take a
nap. When you can outside your car was gone.

4. If you do get busted, don't say "ANYTHING". Like they say, anything you say
can and WILL be used against you in a court of law.

5. If you are forced to take a breath-a-lizer test, they will tell you to blow
harder.  They can't squeez your lungs, so blow as soft as you can!

6. If you do drink and drive, smoke cigarettes. The tar from the cigs will
coat your lungs and has reduced breath tests by as much as 50%.

7. If you are caught and get thrown in the slammer, get on your computer when
you get home and start your computer auto-dialing. You better get the police
department #. They run using UNIX and are pretty easy to break into.  I'm
currently gathering a list of Police department computer terminals.  Look for
this file on any local bbs. It will contain the codes to get in if you are a
complete dumb ass. Once in, erasing the dui is a piece of cake.  After this is
done, expect to get your license in the mail an about 3 to 5 days.  The DMV
will automatically reinstate it.  All charges will be dropped and from then on
it won't even effect your insurance.

The easiest way to get out of this shit is to avoid the Pigs. They will pull
you over if they "Think you have your high beams on". well, lots of luck
and "don't bet caught!"

tips brought to you by the king of being in trouble.

"The Resinated one"


TUCoPS is optimized to look best in Firefox® on a widescreen monitor (1440x900 or better).
Site design & layout copyright © 1986-2024 AOH