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The Art of Shoplifting By: Charisma

Part I: The Basics - Bookstores (porno magazines) without a security
system

Disclaimer: I take no responsibility for anyone that goes out and tries
to rob a store using the methods described in this text file. This file
is just for people to read. If someone decides to blame me for getting
caught trying to shoplift using the methods here I will hire Kenneth
Starr and start to dig into your past and start up a whole scandal over
your abusive sexual molesting parents. I am just using my right to the
1st ammendment! Remember SHOPLIFTING IS ILLIGAL!!
(Blah Blah Blah)

Shoplifting Porno Magazines

What you will need:  A brain, eyes, ears, baggy clothes
optional- a friend (may be hard to get for you loners)

Instructions:

I do not recommend that you do this if you are either noisy,
uncoridnated, crack easily while being questioned if you screw up, or go
around looking like a street bum. OK, this is what you do. Walk into the
store that you want to rip off. Check around to see if the store has any
Video cameras, magnetic strip detectors, or nosy personel. Most of you
should know what a video camera looks like (unless you live in the 3rd
world, which makes me wonder how you got a computer to read this file)
so I won't get into that. Magnetic Strip detectors are those big bulky
rectangular shaped things that are next to the main enterance. You can
tell if personel are nosy if they look at you when you walk in or ask
you if you need any help.
Nosey personell are the easiest to get off your back, just go up and ask
THEM for help. Ask them for a book that you are 100% sure they do not
have. If they do hve the book bluff your way out of it by asking them if
they can hold it for you for a couple of days. DO NOT say you do not
have the money to buy it beacause they will act even nosier when you
start looking around for books when you don't have any money to buy it.
When they say they don't have it act as polite as possible, and get down
to work. Go to the magazine section and start looking at magazines. Inch
your way to the Porno section. When at the Porno section pick up the
Porno magazine of your choice and go to the Children's section. In the
children's section you can stuff the Porno mag down your pants. If you
want more porno (or a Newsweek) go back to the Magazine section and
repeat the steps in the childrens section. This method works best when
you have a friend with you so he can check you to see if the magazine
shows through your clothes. Leave the store immidiatly after you rip it
off. DO NOT TAKE THE MAGAZINE OUT OF YOUR PANTS UNTILL YOU GET HOME. I
don't know how to stress this more. A store owner followed me down the
street once because he suspected me of stealing from him. He stopped me
and asked me a couple of questions while examining me visually for any
sign of abnormalities in my clothing. He didn't, but it was a CLOSE
call. Also if a store owner stops you on your way out and tells you to
put back the magazine you stole pretend you don't know what he is
talking about. Then to the following three things.
1. DENY
2. DENY
3. DENY
He cannot search you unless he has a warant or unless he has a video or
a witness showing or telling that you did. He will have to let you go!!
When I was obsessed with shoplifting I got away with five whole
magazines from one shoplift!!

In the next Issue of The Art of
Shoplifting........................Stealing from candy stores

Written by: CharismaŠ
3/6/98