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Here are the rules for Cripple Mr Onion that were written by Terry Tao This is the first part of the Cripple Mr Onion game: the general purpose and the layout of the cards. Some people have complained about word wrap problems, so please tell me if the paragraphs are short enough. The object of the game is to create the highest scoring collection of card-groupings from the ten cards that the player is dealt during the course of the game. Each of the ten cards can only be used in one particular card-grouping. The game is a combination of poker and blackjack. One player acts as a dealer-banker, chosen on the outcome of the previous game. There are slight advantages in being the dealer. Procedures for the gambling and non-gambling versions will be given in later sections. The gambling version is the one used by the Disc players, but the non-gambling version is easier. Also, I will post some suggested variations to reflect the mythology of the disk. Finally, there will be a discussion of the relevant passage of "Witches Abroad" about the game. Now to the scoring system. The valuable card groupings are based around the concept of an "onion", which is a combination of two or more cards adding up to 21. Aces (A) are one or eleven, picture cards (P) and tens (T) score 10. All others score their face value. Incidentally, there are 104 cards: 8 of each type, as 8 is the magic number of the Disc. On Earth this can be achieved by shuffling two non-identical decks together. There are eight suits with the thirteen standard denominations, but their Disc names are uncertain. Standard deck suits will do. The groupings, in order of least scoring to highest scoring, are: A. bagel: this consists of two cards adding up to 20, i.e. PP, TP, TT, 9A. Fairly frequently, more than one bagel is possible, giving a "double bagel", "triple bagel", "lesser bagel", and finally "great bagel" (all ten cards used up.) 2. two card onion: Two cards which add up to 21, i.e. TA, PA. 3. broken flush: This consists of at least three cards, adding up to at least 16, but no more than 21. All except one of them is of the same suit. 4. three-card onion: Three cards which add up to 21, e.g. 47T, ATT. 5. flush: Just like the broken flush, except all cards must be of the same suit. 6. four-card onion: e.g. 4557, A46T. 7. broken Royal: a special case of the three card onion: the cards 678 of any suit. 8. five-card onion: e.g. 23466, 2234P. 9. Royal - another special case of the three-card onion: three 7's. T. six-card onion: e.g. A23456, 222555. J. Wild Royal (see additional rules): this slot not used at present. Q. seven-card onion: e.g. AA22456, A223445. Note that there are no eight-card onions, eight being a very unlucky number. K. Onion: A pontoon or blackjack: PA. However, this combination is only a two-card bagel unless there is more than one Onion, e.g. KAQA. Thus, we have Double Onion (two Onions), Triple Onion, Lesser Onion, and Greater Onion (PAPAPAPAPA). Greater Onion beats Lesser Onion, and so on. The Greater Onion is almost unbeatable (see below). There is one more card combination: the nine-card straight flush (e.g. 23456789T). This combination is normally worthless, unless another player has a Great Onion, in which case the straight flush beats everybody. This is called "Crippling Mr Onion", hence the name of the game. Note also that Greater Onion requires five aces; thus, the two decks. This ends part 1 of the rules of the game. Andrew Millard (typed up by Terry Tao). At last! Now that I've figured out how to use this system, all you avid or potentially avid Cripple Mr Onion players will not have to wait so long for the rest of the rules, as I can now type them in myself, and not have to ask Terry Tao to do it for me. In response to Terry's (Pratchett not Tao) note about the rules so far, my idea was that a simple list of 13 winning card groupings could be augmented to a fiendishly complicated level by the use of modifiers, of which the first, or #0 I suppose would be: " i. A nine-card running flush may be used to cripple a Great Onion and hence win the game if played after a Great Onion. ii. A ten-card running flush overrides a nine-card running flush in crippling a Great Onion and may also be used to cripple a Lesser Onion." My original aim in raising the subject of Cripple Mr Onion on this net was to get other people to come up with ideas for modifiers; so far, I just have one for letting 8s be wild and another using the queen of spades, which may be given certain properties, to represent the Lady. (Further details of these will, of course, appear soon.) My point is, though, that the essence of the game, which should be simple in order to give newcomers, or suckers, the impression that the whole game is simple, need not be overly complex, as long as a sufficiently large collection of modifiers exists. Even as I write, Terry Tao is scribbling furiously, goaded no doubt by a storm of inspiration particles, about modifiers based around ideas involving Fate, Death, the Octavo (likely to be something involving all eight 8s) and even Great A'tuin him(?)self. Anyway, we'll have to see what turns up, but I've got a feeling that a book containing the complete list of modifiers is going to end up looking like Carrot's book of laws... Andrew C. Millard Physics Department, Princeton University. > Incidentally, there are 104 cards: 8 of each type, as 8 is the magic > number of the Disc. On Earth this can be achieved by shuffling two > non-identical decks together. There are eight suits with the thirteen > standard denominations, but their Disc names are uncertain. Standard deck > suits will do. If you shuffle two different decks together, other players will be able to see the different backs... Concerning the Disc suits ... the scene in 'The Light Fantastic' where Twoflower attempts to teach the Four Horsemen of the Apocralypse to play bridge (or at least, something you put across a river) mentions some of the suits. Twoflower mentions Turtles and Elephants; Death mentions 'the Knave of Terrapins', but it's not clear whether he means Turtles or there are two different suits by these names. Twoflower also refers to the Greater Arcana, which suggests that Discworld card games are actually played with a Tarot-like deck, presumably the 'Caroc cards' mentioned elsewhere. Earlier in the same book, Rincewind has his fortune told, and we're told the names of some Caroc cards. Suits include Octograms and the aforementioned Elephants and Turtles. Remember that eight is an unlucky number, not a lucky one, on the Disc. In view of that, I'm inclined to suspect that there are seven 'real' suits in the Discworld deck, the 'eighth suit' being the Major Arcana. As for the actual names of the suits, here are my suggestions (I'm assuming that Death's 'Terrapins' was a mistake, quite likely given his state of confusion at the time) : Coins (to represent the common Discworld mercenary spirit...) Dragons Elephants Eyes (in honour of Blind Io) Octograms Swords Turtles (or tortoises or terrapins or whatever...) For playing with Earthly decks, we need some sort of standard equivalents; I don't see any obvious correspondences (except Swords = Spades), so I suppose they can just be chosen at random. If you really want eight suits, you can always assume 'Terrapins' wasn't a mistake. Somehow the confusion that would be caused by this seems entirely in the spirit of the Discworld ... :-) And the Major Arcana? Earth's Tarot deck has 22, but in the interests of making it possible to play CMO on Earth without actually buying two Tarot decks I think we should assume that the Caroc deck has 13, the same as the 'real' suits (Earth's Tarot actually has 14 in the suits, but let's not make matters any more complicated than they already are). TLF mentions five : 'The Star', 'The Importance of Washing the Hands', 'The Dome of the Sky', 'The Pool of Night', and (of course) 'Death'. Naming the other eight would, I think, be an excellent topic for suggestions from the Net. I think 'The Octavo' should be one, and probably 'The Disc' itself (something like Josh Kirby's magnificent painting on pages 34-35 of 'Eric'), but beyond that I'll wait and see what everyone can come up with... -- ...... Ross Smith (Wanganui, NZ) ...... alien@acheron.amigans.gen.nz ...... "Reasonable thought can only go so far. Beyond that, you must either be unreasonable or stop thinking." (A. Brilliant) However, Andrew and I are working on some special cards. The suits may now need to be changed, though. Luck (the Lady): Queen of Spades Death: King of Swords Great A'tuin: Queen of Coins Archchancellor: Jack of Staves Fate: King of Cups Bel'Shamaroth: Jack of Clubs As you can see, our idea for the 8 suits were the four tarot and the four modern suits. But to make flushes even remotely possible, two of the suits have to be combined together, making four suits overall. Also, we have some ideas for special combinations, like the Octavo (eight 8's) and the Disc (Great A'tuin with four 10s). At present they are being playtested, so don't expect these rules for at least a week. We don't want to embarrass ourselves prematurely. Terry It's too complicated to write out the full details here, but here is a sketch of the order of play so far. Each person places 1 penny (or stone, etc) in the pot as an ante. Each person gets dealt 5 cards. Starting from the dealer's right, they have the option of exchanging up to four cards from the deck. The first round of betting ensues. Starting from the dealer, everyone is dealt a further 5 cards. The dealer's are face down; the players are face up. However, each player can pay a penny to have one card face down, hence a player putting 5 pennies in the pot will have all his cards face down. The second round of betting ensues. Now starting from the dealer's right, each player must reveal his entire hand and sort it into winning combinations. Usually some cards will not be part of any combination and they are of no value. The winner is the person with the highest ranking combination. If two or more people have the same combination, then the player's second-highest-ranking combinations are compared. If there is a tie all the way down the line, the dealer wins. (The way the game is organized, the dealer is always playing, for if the dealer folds the dealership is up for auction.) e.g. if a person has 2234467KKA the best way to sort this hand would be to have a six-card onion first (2234467) then a two card onion (KA), with the second king being worthless. The game is fairly playable: I've already been suckered out of 60c so far. A few problems: it seems to depend too much on the number of aces one gets. 10s and 9s are almost worthless. To combat this, we have playtested a few modifiers to bring down the power of the Aces and to bring up the worth of the 10s and 9s, but we're still testing. Our first modifier is the use of 8s. The 8s represent magic. eight 8s are the Octavo and we are ranking them at about the level of a Lesser Onion. The 8s can be used as 8s or 0s: the idea of using them as 0s is to "trump up" a small onion into a slightly larger onion: hence, while 3567 is a four card onion, 35678 is a five card onion. three 8s are a wild royal. After an 8 has been used as a 0, for the next round they are wild (can act as any card from A to K, excepting special god cards). However, the use of too many 8's will attract the attention of Bel Shamharoth, among others. The Aces represent heroes of the Disc:normally they make an integral part of the winning hands (we seem to find that Double Onion is the most common winning hand, btw), but with a few modifiers we intend to make heroes subject to blind luck and cruel fate. Our rules are a bit complicated here. Suggestions welcome for any modifiers, or special hands. Btw: about my remark about "non-identical decks". While it is a minor point that decks of different color will convey a little bit of knowledge about ones hand, I suppose it is best to have two identical decks. However, for special cards (if there are going to be any) there should only be one of each. For the purposes of flushes, and 9-card straight flushes, it seems reasonable to have only four suits, otherwise flushes would be extremely difficult. Terry So many people seem to be champing at the bit here over the details of the game that I've decided to post up the rules of the game in full - at least the game as far as we are playing it here at the moment. No doubt there are a few problems still remaining in it, but we'll just have to see what happens. I should state, though, that when I write onion, I mean two-card up to seven-card, whereas when I write Onion (capital O), I mean Double up to Great. Cripple Mr Onion requires two standard decks of playing cards, preferably one having the English or French suits clubs, spades, hearts and diamonds, and the second having the Spanish or Italian suits swords, staves, cups and coins - for the purpose of forming flushes, these are taken to be paired in their respective order given above. The game also requires at least two players, but not more than seven [this isn't something to do with the number eight, but a result of the fact that you'd run out of cards with more than seven players], with a ready supply of small coinage or tokens. The players need to be arranged as evenly as possible around a table with two small pots/boxes in the centre - one will be the Pot and the other is for discards. At the beginning of each round, one player is identified as the Dealer, with the player to the Dealer's left as the Elder and the player to the Dealer's right as the Younger - this sets the order of precedence in being dealt cards and in winning in the event of a tie as Dealer, Elder, other players in order and, lastly, Younger. In the event that the Dealership changes, these identifiers move to be based around the new Dealer. The round opens when the Dealer shuffles the pack of all 104 cards, the Younger cuts the pack and all the players place an amount equivalent to the Stake in the Pot. By agreement of all the players, the maximum amount for a raise is usually set at some multiple of the Stake. All the players are dealt five cards in this order: the Dealer receives two cards and deals all the other players, in order from Elder to Younger, three cards; the Dealer then receives three cards and deals the other players two [this is done to speed up the dealing, which isn't exactly the most interesting part of the game]. Then, in turn, from Elder to Younger, each player discards up to four cards into the discard pot, or may fold by discarding all five cards, and announces the number of discards to the Dealer who replaces them from the top of the pack; the Dealer then discards and replaces, also announcing the number thrown away. It is important to note that up to this point all cards have been dealt face down, each player is only aware of their own cards and, by way of the draw, ought to have a better hand than was originally dealt. The first round of betting takes place, consisting of three distinct parts. In the first two parts, the Dealer names the amount that must be matched by other players individually if they wish to stay in and places this amount in the Pot. In turn, from the Elder to the Younger, the players must either match the Dealer's bid, by placing the same amount in the Pot, or fold by placing their cards in the discard pot; if a player matches the Dealer's bid, that player has the option of raising the Dealer by placing a named amount near the Pot on the player's side. The process of raising does not affect the other players except for the Dealer who must match the collective raise or fold - see below for events following the folding of the Dealer. The matching of the collective raise by the Dealer and the placing of all the individual raises into the Pot closes that part of the betting. In the third, and at this stage final, part, the betting is the same except that no raising may take place. During the betting, the Dealer may make a zero bet, allowing all the other players to stay in and, in the first two parts and if they wish, to raise. The second set of five cards each is now dealt in the following way: the Dealer receives five cards face down on the table, and then, in turn from Elder to Younger, each other player may buy cards, multiply or one at a time, from the Dealer placing an amount equal to the Stake for each bought card in the Pot. Buying stops at five bought cards, or earlier if the player wishes when the player is then dealt the remaining cards up to five, that is up to ten cards in all, face up on the table. Bought cards are dealt face down and the player may mix them in with the cards from the first stage of dealing, but cards dealt face up on the table must remain that way, although the player may rearrange them there. After receiving the second five cards, the player is then asked to make an extra bet, which again the Dealer must alone match later on, placing the amount, which may be zero, on the face up cards, or on the table if there are no face up cards, directly in front of the player. Once this has taken place for all the players, the Dealer considers the extra bets made on the basis of all the face up cards and the Dealer's own ten cards which, of course, are unknown to the other players. If the Dealer decides to match the total amount of the extra bets made, by placing the total value in the Pot, all extra bets are placed in the Pot as well and two last parts of betting take place in the same manner as the first two parts of the first round of betting as described in the previous paragraph. If the extra bets are not matched, the Dealer may give the Dealership to the Elder WITHOUT being required to fold: this is the only point of the game when the Dealership changes without the Dealer folding - of course, the Dealer loses all privileges by becoming the new Younger. To accept the Dealership and become the new Dealer, the Elder must match the other players' collective extra bets, the Elder's own extra bet, if there was one, being lost to the Pot without reclaim; otherwise the Dealership is again passed left. This process is repeated until either the Dealership is accepted, in which case events proceed as described some twelve lines above, or the Dealership goes full circle and returns to the original Dealer - then, everybody folds, the Pot becomes the ante for the next round, the Dealer remains the Dealer and the next round begins from the beginning. The game having managed to get this far without utter confusion breaking out, the final part of the round, Showdown, takes place. Beginning from the Elder, the highest card grouping is declared and displayed on the table; if the player to the left of the Elder cannot equal, beat or play some modifier that affects the Elder's cards, that player's cards are all placed face up on the table, in their groupings if the player wishes, and the next player's cards are compared. If the Elder's cards are equalled, then the next card grouping must be considered. If the Elder's cards are beaten, then the Elder has the opportunity to play a modifier or rearrange the card grouping in an attempt to obtain a better arrangement. By this process of comparison, consideration of lower groupings, rearrangement of card groups and playing of modifiers, the holder of the better cards, between the Elder and the player on the Elder's left, is found; the player but one to the Elder's left is then brought in, and the whole process of finding the holder of the better cards is repeated. This continues until at last the Dealer has been brought in, and finally the player who holds the best cards wins the contents of the Pot; in the event of a complete tie, the player of greater seniority wins - often, this means that the Dealer wins. The round is then over, the cards and discards are collected up and the winner becomes the Dealer for the next round. In the event that the Dealer folds, the Dealership is auctioned as follows: from the Elder to the Younger, the players who are still in are asked by the old Dealer if they wish to be the new Dealer - if the player wishes to be the new Dealer, that player must advance an amount equal to the Stake. If another player, when asked, also wishes to be Dealer, then that player must match the existing bid and advance another amount equal to the Stake. This process continues around and around the table, with each prospective Dealer making sure that that player's bid is at least an amount equal to the Stake higher that the highest bid so far, until all the players except for one decline to advance any more, when they place their own total bid in the Pot as they decline, and the single player left becomes the new Dealer placing the winning bid in the pot. If nobody wishes to be the new Dealer, all the players fold, the Pot becomes the ante for the next round, the old Dealer stays as Dealer and another round beings anew. Well, that describes the basic [!] game. Hands up all those who thought that thirteen simple winning hands would not make the game complicated. But, of course, there has been discussion of modifiers [incidentally, if you think that this reconstruction is a rip-off of other card games around the Multiverse, all I can say is: you don't have to play and win a lot and have fun as well], which I shall now describe. These particular modifiers are, inevitably, the creation of a small group of people: if you think they should be changed or added to or reduced in number, just say so. Modifier #0: Crippling Rules. i. A nine-card running flush may be used to cripple a Great Onion and hence win the game. Once crippled, a Great Onion may not be retracted. ii. A ten-card running flush outcripples a nine-card running flush in crippling a Great Onion and may also cripple a Lesser Onion. Once cripped, the Onion may not be retracted. [I hope that this one at least doesn't require any comments.] Modifier #1: Null Eights Rules. i. During a round in which eights are not wild (see ii.), an eight may be used as if it had value zero in order to trump up an onion. In the event of a tie between two onions with equal numbers of cards, the onion with the fewer null eights wins. ii. In the round following a round in which a null eight has been played, eights are wild, acting as any regular card. The wild Royal, three wild eights, may then be played. In the next round, eights return to their original role. [To "trump up an onion" means to make a four-card onion into a five-card onion by the addition of one null eight, or to make a three-card onion into a seven-card onion with four - it did happen, and he won. Note, however, that there are no onions beyond seven-card and that wild eights cannot be used as any of the special cards giving rise to later modifiers.] Modifier #2: Wild Crippling Rule. In a round in which eights are wild, to successfully cripple the relevant Onion, the running flush must have at most the same number of wild cards as the Onion being crippled. [Note that this is the only manifestation of the "fewer wild cards wins" rule of poker, the equivalent here being "fewer null eights wins" as in #1i. above.] Modifier #3: Octavo Rule. When eights are wild, the card group consisting of eight eights can be considered as a Lesser Onion, but beats other Lesser Onions and may not be crippled like a Lesser Onion of any other composition. [Terry likes this one!] Modifier #4: The Lady's Rules. i. If eights are not wild, the queen of spades may be declared, before or during Showdown, and replaced by the player's choice of one of the next two cards from the deck, the chosen card taking up the place of the queen; the other card goes to the discard pot. This move may not be rescinded. ii. When eights are wild, the queen of spades devalues one ace, for every other player, that would otherwise be played as having value eleven, to value one only. This does not affect any aces in a Great Onion, but may affect cards, in any grouping, which, by being wild or by other means, would otherwise be played with value eleven. [If you're playing with two English decks, you're going to have to choose one of the two queens of spades and mark it, not on the back though, so use old or cheap cards for this. By declaring, I mean put the card on the table face up and point it out to the other players; here, of course, the queen may no longer be used in forming card groupings since a replacement card has been received (very useful for getting out of those triple bagels) but should be left near the player on the table rather than in the discard pot. For the reason for this, read on...] Modifier #5: Fate's Rules. i. If the queen of spades has been declared and replaced, the king of cups may also be declared and replaced in a like manner, in the process making all aces held by the player who used the queen of spades have value zero. Unlike null eights, however, zeroed aces cannot trump up onions. ii. If eights are wild, the king of cups may be declared so that eights immediately cease to be wild; a different player who has the queen of spades, whether visible, played or not, may then make his own eights wild again. The king of cups may not be revoked once declared, and a single player may not use the king of cups and then the queen of spades in this way. [The suit of cups, you may remember, is paired up with hearts, so choose one of the the king of hearts as Fate.] Modifier #6: Great A'Tuin's Rule. Declaring the queen of coins allows the player to reduce the value of one of the player's cards by eight points and to increase the value of a different card by eight points. The two affected cards must still have value between one and eleven inclusive. [Coins are paired with diamonds. A two that is shifted up to value ten may be considered a picture card, a three shifted up to eleven as an ace of value eleven.] Modifier #7: The Elephants' Rule. Any four cards, each being either a nine or a ten or an eight when eights are wild, that are declared with the queen of coins in one player's hand, allow that player to shift as many points as are needed to to generate a Double Onion. This Double Onion may be beaten by any other Double Onion. Any nines or tens in the player's hand that are not involved in the shift may be considered as ones, not aces, and twos respectively. [Since the five cards involved here have only been declared, they are, of course, still playable as cards in groups. Remember that a ten may not take the role of a picture card in an Onion - a shifted nine, eight etc. is needed. With two nines, two tens and the queen of coins, a possible shift is: add one each to the nines and tens - hence the Double Onion - and take four from the queen of coins to be a six.] Modifier #8: The Sender of Eight's Rules. i. When eights are not wild, a visible jack of diamonds makes any aces belonging to a player who uses any eights become zeroed (see #5i.). ii. When eights are wild, the jack of diamonds must be declared as soon as it is dealt and identified, zeroing all aces and disallowing eights from taking on value one or eleven. [As before, choose one of the jacks of diamonds and mark it on the face.] Modifier #9: Death's Rules. i. When eights are not wild, a visible king of swords makes one picture card in every player's hand that has two or more picture cards have no part in forming a Double Onion. ii. When eights are wild, the visible king of swords makes one picture card in every player's hand that has two or more picture cards have no part in forming either a Double Onion or a Triple Onion. [Swords are paired with clubs. The "killed" picture card can still take part in anything else, which usually means a bagel or two.] Modifier #10: The Archchancellor's Rules. i. Any player who plays the jack of staves may not also play an eight as having value eight. ii. If the jack of staves is declared at any time during the game, the king of swords must also be declared if held; if the king of swords is declared, then all the other players must also declare one previously undisclosed card each. If no one holds the king of swords, the the jack of staves becomes wild for the rest of the round. [By a process of elimination, staves are paired with spades.] Modifier #11: The Fool's Rule. If, immediately before Showdown, the jack of clubs is declared, then, for the rest of the round, bagels change places with Onions in the order of winning card groupings. That is: the two-card onion and the single bagel change places, the Double, Triple and Lesser Onions are ex- changed with the double, triple and lesser bagels respectively, and the great bagel becomes only beaten by, but may also be crippled like, the Great Onion which remains at the top of the list. [This now makes bagels worth something, other than a tie-breaker. The jack of clubs, of course, can still take part in bagels, and any other card grouping, as usual.] Okay, so there are some in-jokes in that lot, but you don't need to know them all, or indeed any of them, to be able to play the game and it hasn't stopped me playing the game with a large group of people here who have never heard of Bel-Shamharoth or the Rite of Ashk'Ente. It might be fun to try and work out the reasoning behind the modifiers - and yes, there is a reason behind nearly every one that may be found somewhere in the Discworld books. This is the point though: unlike Dragon Poker, where the typical modifier seems to be "If there are three players with four arms, the moon is gibbous, there's an r in the month and the Dealer is blue, the three of Unicorns is wild in the seventeenth round" (no criticism of Robert Asprin - it's a fun idea), Cripple Mr Onion modifiers should be based on Discworld mythology and belief; I've taken the view that the game is as old as Ankh-Morpork and has, over the centuries, absorbed all sorts of details of Disc life. Anyway, comments please. Andrew C. Millard Physics Department, Princeton University. A couple of rules in the game that Andrew posted up are debatable, so I thought we should bring them to your attention. They all concern the modifiers. The original game is quite playable and has no faults, but some of the modifiers have problems. First of all, the rules as stated say that if the first person lays down his hand, and the next person beats it, the the first person has a chance to reform his hand. This has the small problem that the game could technically go on forever, with everybody reforming their hands, but also takes out the "sucker" element of the game: "I didn't know a three-card flush beat a ...", etc. However, as some modifiers (Fate, the Lady, Bel-Shamharoth, Death) do devalue hands, perhaps after these have been played, the people whose hands are affected have a chance to reform once. Also, if one prefers, if two combinations tie, the one with fewer wild cards loses. The only problem with this is that it takes away a bit the prerogative of the dealer to win tied hands, and the game traditionally has a bias toward the dealer (unless Weatherwax is playing). Finally, as some special cards are declared before any hands are played, to prevent someone laying down his lesser Onion in a hurry before anyone can play the "Fool", there should be a round before showdown where the dealer asks if any special cards (at this stage, only the Fool and possiblt Bel-Shamharoth) are to be used.