"FOUR WAYS TO EAT FREE AT FUDDRUCKERS"
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               Located at the 'Willows' in Concord.


  ( "Voted best eatery in Houston" - 
            Doesn't say much for Texas nouveaux quisine -
                     but they make a mean burger.... )

1) GROSS BUT WORKS...If you're hungry...
	Enter the restaurant during a peak dining period.. Wait. Someone 
will not finish their 1/2 pounder. Grab the table before the bus-boy snags 
it and cleans the table. Sit down and finalize the act.

2) FREE SALAD BAR !
	Bring a couple of pieces ( about 10" long ) wax paper. Wait till
a patron has finished his meal. Go up to the table and snag the 12" white
plastic serving tray and his clear plastic tumbler.
	Head to the john and using their sink and soap dispenser, wash both
thoroughly and wipe with the hand wipes.
	Go over to the vegetable section and select some salad fixings. Place
them on the wax paper as if you have had your burger. Go over to the condi-
ment section and place 4 parts mayo, 1 part ketchup and a dash of salt and
pepper on your other wax paper. Mix them. You just made 1000 Island Dressing. 
( If you don't like 1000 IS. Then bring your own.) Ditch the mixing paper on
an uncleaned used table. HEad over to the drink bar and have a drink.
	Again peak busy periods are best. Also don't be obvious by loading up
your tray. Go back for seconds if you wish. 

3) GET A BURGER FREE.
	Again... Peak periods are best. This would require some loitering. So
Find a used drink cup and squeeze it till it cracks. Go up to the busy guy 
that hands out the burgers. Get his attention. He'll be busy.. but get him to
replace the cup... because "Yours broke.." He'll do it and you'll be kinda 
planted in his mind as a paying patron.
	While you are there waiting catch the names of people ordering their
meals. Then go over to the area near the bathrooms. Wait till someone who's 
name you snagged heads out side. Wait till their name has been called and see
if they stand up. Don't wait. Head right over and grab their meal. Don't stand
still... Casually dump the tray and head out the door with your drink and
meal.

4) BEEN DONE BEFORE...BUT!

	Snag a tray with a meal receipt and the remains of a burger..The
bigger the better. Put something in it that might have found its way in 
through the normal process of food handling. No roaches etc... Too obvious. 
Try a hunk of hair... Or a couple of staples. Make sure that the object is
covered in food and doesn't look 'planted'. 
	Go to the counter.. and be a little grossed out... Ask for a 
replacement. They will want to see your ticket... Make sure you know the
name and food objects ordered and the cost. Do not have your ID handy if
they ask you to prove that you are the person you say you are supposed to be.
If they ask where you live and etc.. get a little irate and demand their home-
office telephone number and the manager's name and who you should talk to. Do
this in front of the customers who are ordering their meals.. Keep mention-
ing the gross item in the food. If they won't buckle, then storm off and out.
If they do buckle, allow them to mollify you and go have a seat without much
more trouble. ( They will not want to upset people who have not eaten yet.. ) 


CAUTION.....


Be cool... Be careful and understand that the employees that man the order
area aren't too motivated and can't remember everyone... Particularily if
it's a busy time.

You might also snag an old meal ticket off a table while prepping yourself..
Then if you are asked if you are a patron, you can wave the ticket as proof
that you've paid....



		                 -oOo-

BYE! GOOGOL!