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Title:      |||| Machines ||||

Date:       April 27, 1998 (updated 7/17/99)
Author:     rootwurm & wri0t

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I dont't know if you remember pogs (you know that fliping game), well all you gotta do is trace quarters onto the pogs and cut them out. Now you have a cardboard pieces in the shape of a quarter. These work in the turning crank machines, such as gumballs, and the push in pull out machines (like at the washateria), and the sticker/tattoo machines. I have also seen pog machines along side those tattoo machines, so if you want you can always get more pog quarters if you are about to run out, cause with 2 you can get a pog sheet that makes about a dozen more. Hope this is useful.   
 ~WaKe~
-----------------------------------

   They're everywhere.  Coke machines, pepsi machines, surge machines, candy machines,
change machines, cash machines, washing machines, ....  what do they all have in common?
They're machines! (duh)  and what are machines made for?  To serve us!  and what shall
we make these machines do?  you guessed it.

	Now, i know there a quite a few text files on the net telling you how to rip off
machines like these, but we hope these ideas will ACTUALLY FUCKING WORK!  we've tried
these methods, and they do in fact work (at least they do where we are...bumfuck kentucky).

				-- THE 2 FOOT DOLLAR BILL --
	What you need:
		Some clear tape (packing tape werks good)
		A buck (hey, i didn't say this was gonna be free!! :-)

	What to do:
		Take the dollar bill (it should be a fairly crisp, new one for best results)
		and lay it faceing up on a table.  Tape the VERY EDGE of it (and by edge, i mean
		the short end, next to the big 1's)  Just extend the length of the dollar until
		it is about 2 foot long (with the tape, you dolt).  you only need to attach
		the tape to the very edge, like where the green ends.  once that's done, flip
		the dollar back over and tape the other end the same way.

		now take your two foot dollar to a COCA COLA machine (it could POSSIBLE work on
		other machines, but we have only gotten it to werk on coca cola machines.  Feed
		the dollar to the machine, but hold onto the end of the tape.  when it has gone
		all the way into the machine (except for the very edge which you are holding)
		push the button to get a coke.  when the coke drops out (and your 50 cents)
		pull firmly, but evenly on the end of the tape to retreive you dollar. 

		walla, a free coke and change back.

			(note:  try not to completely empty the machine, because i think the new
			coke machines are "patched" but they haven't distrubuted them all yet.
			if they see that their machine is being hit, then they'll be sure to put
			a new machine in its place)

				-- LATEX QUARTERS --
	What you need:
		1 latex glove (or condom...haven't tried a condom, too much lube :-P)
		1 quater (yeah, i realize you may be pressed for cash, but come on!)

	What to do:
		Goto one of those machines that you put a quater in it and push the big metal
		bar that slides in and drops your quaters down.  most washing machines have these
		at laundry mats, and i've noticed a few fake tatoo machines in kmart have them
		too.

		put the quater in the finger of the glove and put your quater in the machine.
		(don't put on the gloves)  push the bar in, and when you're laundry starts 
		washing (or you get some k-rad body art)  pull the glove up.   you keep
		yer quater.

			(note:  this is good for college students who don't like to pay to wash
			their clothes)

				-- SILENT TIPPING --

	What you need:
		arms

	What to do:
		Goto a secluded candy machine (you know the kind that has the little turny
		thing that spins and drops your candy where you have to bend over and push
		this little door that doesn't let you reach your hand under it).

		most candy machines have alarms which try to prevent you from tipping them over
		and forcing your candy to fall.  well, just unplug the fucker.  look around
		the back of the machine and find the plug.  unplug it, tip it, grab the grub,
		and plug it back in.

				-- 1-800-CALL-MOM --

	What you need:
		fingers
		a payphone someplace

	What to do:
		lucky for me, i've got a car and can drive.  but back when i DIDN'T have that
		right (goddamn it, it IS a right, not a privledge) i had to call good ole mom
		to come pick me up from the mall and such.  Now, back then i rarely had a quater
		with me and now that it's 35 fucking cents, i'm pretty sure most of you never 
		have a quarter AND a dime, and end up spending fifty cents to call mom and say
		"i'm ready, come pick me up"

		well, now all you have to do is call collect.  yes, you heard me right, call
		her collect.  1-800-COLLECT.  (i'm sure you've seen the gay-ass commercials too)
		BUT, when they ask you for your name, you get 4 seconds.  now, unless you live
		in south africa or someplace, i don't see why you get 4 seconds to say your name.
		
		when the computerized operator says "please state your name" just say "mom i'm
		at the mall, come get me" (you don't even have to talk fast) and wait on the line.
		after a few minutes, the computerized operator will come back and say "the party
		has declined the call"  and your mom should be on her way to get you.


that's it for now, if you have ANY tricks that you do that WORK (i don't want a copy of the jolly
roger's cookbook) then send it our way.

later ppl,

t0irw (wri0t@pheces.org) & mruwtoor (rootwurm@pheces.org)

		
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