Paying Your Bills.


Wait until they send the bill the third time then write (never phone )
writing is slower) and ask why you haven't received and invoice. Demand
a written reply for your auditors.

Ask for an itemized account, but don't explain what you mean by
"itemized". Then when you receive it, write back saying that wasn't what
you wanted at all.

Sales Taxes give you almost unlimited scope to delay payment. For
example: Why have they charged you sales tax when your Purchase Order
(which of course, you never sent them) clearly shows Sales Tax
Exemption? Alternately, if no sales tax is charged, why not? Or Federal
but no Provincial? or vice versa?

Say your books have been impounded by the R.C.M.P. as evidence in a
complex and highly secret case which you might (you hint) involve a
close friend of your supplier company's president.

Tell them for accounting reasons you must have the bill broken down into
two. Then have someone else in your organization start the whole thing
over by asking why there are two bills instead of one. And then pay only
one!

Send a cheque with figures not matching words. When they call, send a
corrected cheque ... but omit to sign it.

Send a copy of their invoice with a torn corner of a cheque stapled to
it. This will start a frantic search for your missing cheque. When you
eventually hear from your supplier, you can delay further while you
"check with your bank". And all the time they'll be apologizing to you!

Tell them your cheque requires two signatures and the other signing
officer has (gone on a month's cruise) (had a heart attack) (run off
with your receptionist) (run off with your receptionist and then had a
heart attack).

Send a cheque for about 1/10 the amount owing made out to a different
(and fictional) Company X. When they call, apologetically tell them your
office girl is always putting things in the wrong envelope, and you'll
personally take care of it "right away" (Translation: in 3 months).

Tell them you must have a separate breakdown of labour and materials.
When they send it, tell them you think they got the figures reversed.

Deny all knowledge of ordering (or receiving) the items they've billed
you for. Ask for details of who ordered, when and how shipped, who
signed for receipt of shipment, etc.

Tell them you thought it was clearly understood they didn't get paid
until your customer pays you, and your lawyers are
trying to collect now.