8888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888
   888  cable madness ..                                                 888
   8888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888

   here it is .. how to make a fusion bomb from a blowtorch an icecube and
   a box of bisquick. not really.. how about how to steal cable without
   getting caught?  first you have to identify the target.. house or
   apartment.. ill cover houses first.. but before i do that your gonna
   need a few very necessary tools.  firstly and most importantly two pair
   of pliers not needlenose.. not diaganol cutters.. not vicegrips just a
   plain old pair of pliers.. a phillips screwdriver.. a pair of wire cutters
   and possibly a nice drill with a tip made to go through metal on it..
   and its a good idea to have a flashlight.. unless you happen to have an
   extra white hardhat laying around and some blue jeans.. anyway take a
   good look around the house your gonna see two boxes.. both of them fairly
   small one real small usually gray.. thats your phone connection.. the
   larger one is the cable box.. usually it has a lock on the side of it..
   relax the lock is plastic.. take your cutters and snip that bastard on
   the edge then turn it and pull it off then swing open the door and there
   it is one loop of wire with a small silver connector on it.. this connector
   is what keeps your cable from coming in.. theres a small phillps screw
   that holds the whole deal in there.. unscrew it.. now take your two
   pairs of pliers and disconnect the connector at the top of the silver
   blocker.. and then the connector at the bottom.. now take the male
   connector from the top and screw it in where the blocker used to be
   screwed in at. KABLAM.. you now have cable.. and more than likely hbo
   too.. now close the cover put the lock on and go inside.. make sure
   you have the silver connector.. okay now look it over real good. as
   you can see its completely empty.. so grab your drill and drill the
   bastard out.. thats right make it hollow. now go find yourself some
   styrofoam ( food of the gods ) and fill the connector with it.. run
   a piece of copper wire right down the middle of it and make sure one
   end sticks out about a 1/4" further then it needs too.. now your blocker
   isnt a blocker anymore it goes straight on through.. go back out to
   the box and put the blocker back in but make sure the wire that runs
   down the middle of the blocker touches the wire in the center of both
   connectors or you dont have a signal.. the purpose of this is to fool
   the would be cable guy .. cuz its gonna look just like it always has
   except your cables connected.  if you want to live dangerously then just
   leave the blocker out but if they do a house to house audit and go check
   your box then they will know someone who lives there now or lived there
   is or was stealing cable and they will try to get ugly with you..even
   though there really isnt dick they can do they talk big. alright well
   that just about pretty much covers houses in the next issue im gonna
   do a big ass article on apartments cuz i live in one and i had to hook
   my shit up... soo.. thats it.. alright.. im outta here..


   8888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888