Posted-By: auto-faq 3.1.1.2
Archive-name: self-impr-faq/part1
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alt.self-improve FAQ
revision 1.8
June 17, 1995
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DISCLAIMER
This file is a collection of Frequently Asked Questions from the
alt.self-improve group. This document is information collected by
the editors for public use. The information is not guaranteed to
be accurate and may not reflect the opinions of the editors, the
editor's employers, or associated institutions. This document may
be freely distributed provided this disclaimer is included with
all copies. All contributions and suggestions for improvement
are welcomed. The current editors are:
Loren Larsen
Computer Science Department
Clemson University
Clemson, SC 29634
llarsen@cs.clemson.edu
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This FAQ is posted on the 17th of every month. A how-to-find-the-FAQ article
is posted on the 7th and 27th of every month. This FAQ is also available
via World Wide Web (Mosaic):
http://diogenes.cs.clemson.edu/~llarsen/llarsen.html
or via ftp from rtfm.mit.edu:
/pub/usenet/alt.self-improve/alt.self-improve_FAQ_(Part_1_of_2)
/pub/usenet/alt.self-improve/alt.self-improve_FAQ_(Part_2_of_2)
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Changes since version 1.5 (Feb. 17)
- New section describing The People's Network
- Updated Resources section
- New biography of Tad James
Changes since version 1.6 (Apr. 17)
- Information on IDHEA seminars
Changes since version 1.7 (May. 18)
- New Web resources, notably:
Covery Leadership Center
hypnosis.com (Tad James and his Accelerated Human Change Companies)
Forum Graduate Association
- I am currently looking for a co-editor(s) to help improve the FAQ.
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
1. Introduction to alt.self-improve
2. Accelerated Learning
3. Baldness Cures and Consequences
4. Bates Method (natural vision improvement)
5. Stephen Covey (7 Habits of Highly Effective People, etc.)
6. Est
7. Financial Improvement
8. General Learning and Study Skills
9. Hypnosis
10. Landmark (The Forum)
11. Lateral Thinking
12. Life-Long Learning Association
13. Lifespring
14. Meditation
15. Memory Systems
16. Mindmapping
17. Mind Machines
18. Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP)
19. The People's Network
20. Physical Health
21. Anthony Robbins
22. Sales and Negotiation
23. Scientology/Dianetics
24. Software Packages
25. Speed Reading
26. Marshall Sylver
27. Time Management
Appendix A. Resource List
Appendix B. Biographies
Richard Bandler
Stephen Covey
John Grinder
Tad James
Anthony Robbins
Appendix C. Reader Ratings of Books/Audiotapes/Seminars
1. Introduction to alt.self-improve
The alt.self-improve group provides a forum for discussing strategies,
techniques, and principles for self improvement. The table of contents gives
a good overview of the breadth of topics discussed. This FAQ has been
created to provide a single document that contains a sort of history of what
has been discussed in the newsgroup. New readers may find the answers to
many of their questions already answered in this document. We have attempted
to categorize questions by topic for easy access, but many issues don't fit
neatly into a single category. The contents of this document are collected
by the editors from past postings in alt.self-improve, personal e-mail
correspondence, and outside sources. All suggestions and contributions are
welcome. The newsgroup is not intended for commercial uses or promotion of,
commercial products; however a section has been added to this document with
information about contacting many of the companies whose products, seminars,
or books are discussed in this newsgroup. The last section provides brief
biographical information about some of the self-improvement personalities
frequently mentioned in this group.
This document is still in its infancy. Most of the material collected so
far has been summarized based on past postings to the newsgroup. There are
bound to be a number of errors. The information presented so far is probably
biased toward the interests and perspectives of the editors. Hopefully both
the errors and bias will rapidly be eliminated with your feedback. Please
help to expand and perfect this document by contributing your knowledge.
Quoted articles are acknowledged by placing the poster's name in parentheses
(e.g. (From: llarsen@cs.clemson.edu). Information which is not explicitly
acknowledged has been compiled by the editors from a variety of sources
including past postings, external sources, and reader responses to the
editors.
We are considering different methods of compactly recording comments from
a wide variety of sources. One suggestion is to create a rating system
for books, seminars, etc. For example if you have attended a particular
speed reading course or a Tony Robbins seminar, send us your opinion by
rating it on a scale of 1-10. The average could be used as opposed to
a huge collection of personal responses. Any other suggestions are welcome.
2. Accelerated Learning
Q. What is accelerated learning?
A. Accelerated learning is a technique that was pioneered by the
Bulgarian psychologist named Lozanov during the 1950's/60's.
A typical session involves two stages - learning while in deep
relaxation, and consolidating through play.
In the first stage of a session, pupils are seated (or sit on
cushions) in a comfortable room and are encouraged to relax, get
themselves into a positive frame of mind and visualize a time when
they experienced real joy at succesfully learning something.
Once everyone is relaxed, the teacher will start some music. The
best music has been found to be Baroque music, by composers like
Bach, Handel and Vivaldi, at a tempo of about sixty beats per
minute (60bpm). The students are asked to breath in time to the
music to increase their relaxation - a common method is to breath
in for four seconds, hold it for four seconds, breathe out for four
seconds and pause, in time with the music.
The teacher then reads the material to be learned, again in time
with the music, and varying the tone and volume of his/her voice.
If the material is, for example, the basic vocabulary of German,
the teacher will read an English word, followed four seconds later
by the German equivalent.
The idea is the material will `imprint' itself on the minds of the
students, with little conscious effort by them.
The second stage involves revising the material through play, the
idea again is to make the session as relaxed and enjoyable as
possible.
The editors have no experience of the techniques themselves, so we
cannot say if they are of any value. Reports of the technique have
varied from wild claims of learning 2000+ foreign words in a day,
to murmurs of disapointment from people who found the sessions
uninteristing and repetitive. Many people have commented that
people who are good auditory learners seem to have more success
than those who are good visual learners, so Anthony Robbins fans
might want to check this out.
The only audio material being produced at the moment (as far as
we know) is by Colin Rose, who has also written a book on the
subject (called, strangely enough, `Accelerated Learning').
You also might want to dig out a copy of `Superlearning' by
Maria Ostrand), which describes the history of Accelerated
Learning in detail and gives a complete guide to doing it
yourself.
3. Baldness Cures and Consequences
A summary of ways for handling balding has been contributed by a
reader. Here it is:
Baldness Cures and Consequences
1. Does baldness need to be cured?
The answer is up to you, if you're losing your hair. It depends on
your self-concept, on how happy you are with the way you look now, and
how happy you'll be with the way you will look once your pattern
expands to its ultimate stage. You might get some hints on this by
looking at pictures of your maternal grandfather in his later years;
in any case, debates concerning the actual hereditary links of
male-pattern baldness, while of scholarly interest, are mostly
unhelpful to individuals and thus beyond the scope of this FAQ.
2. Bald can be Beautiful
Star Trek's Captain Picard (Patrick Stewart) provides an excellent
example of a person who, by a happy combination of personality and
physiognomy, has managed to be handsome and quite sexy while still
being bald. St. Anthony, while not sexy, was good looking too,
despite his bald crown. Your case may be a different story. It all
depends on how you want to look.
You might attempt to accept the fact that baldness has always been a
natural part of growing old. Are you unhappy about your baldness or
are you just not accepting the fact that you're no longer 15? You may
not agree with this, but there is probably a natural beauty and grace
to your unaltered baldness pattern. Could you possibly learn to love
that natural grace and let your inner beauty shine through along with
it? Many people can and do. They save a lot of money that way.
3. Combing to cover
The solution, adopted by some, of combing hair over bald spots is
probably counterproductive. In other words, the larger your spot, the
better you might look if you just accepted its presence and had your
hair styled so that the spot was not being hidden. This is, of
course, a matter of opinion, but a person with a full-cap bald pattern
who tries to cover it by letting hair on the sides of the head grow
unusually long and flipping it up generally looks like a person who is
doing just that. Most independent observers find it odd; people who
had once "combed to cover" generally find that they are perceived
as much more attractive by others once they let their spots be what
they are. (When used in combination with spray-on hair, however,
combing to cover can produce a natural effect for some--not all--
people. See discussion below.)
4. Vitamins
Severe nutrient deficiencies and extreme stress will shock your body
from head to foot. If the foods you eat contain neither inositol nor
any B vitamins, you may die sooner than you ought to. But, sad to
say, if you have an otherwise normal diet and start popping inositol
and B vitamins, your hair will still fall out. Your hairs know
precisely the date when they're supposed to cash in their chips, and
they'll do it right then, no matter how much inositol you feed them.
Buy relaxation tapes if you're stressed, however.
5. Subliminal Suggestion Tapes and the Power of Mind
The person who made a tape designed to trick your mind into keeping
hair on your head was full-cap bald when he produced the tape and is
full-cap bald to this very day. He's a very fine person and he even
made an effective tape on how to become wealthy through prosperous
thinking. The baldness tape, however, has been withdrawn from the
market.
Not even Krishna consciousness will help you grow hair. Do you have
any idea of the number of bald swamis who have been sighted in Wyoming
alone? Those who still dwell in the physical body are still bald. I
know that most of them wouldn't bother lowering their vibration long
enough to produce hair on their heads--and why should they,
considering the delights they know. But you'd think that some of them
would spontaneously sprout hair once in a while, just for fun.
Ram Dass and Wayne Dyer, very wise bald sages both, have used their
wisdom to talk themselves out of esteeming hair, needing hair, or
wanting hair. In fact, many holy beings float so high that they
realize that hair is the LEAST of their or anyone else's needs, that
it's just more material stuff destined to collect in a porcelain sink,
another illusion trying to convince you it's real, just one more set
of material attachments from which we all, eventually, seek
liberation. And they're absolutely right. Listen to what the Hindu
God Krishna had to say about your physical body. Lord Krishna,
addressing his friend Arjuna (who was whining about his apparent duty
to kill his relatives in an upcoming battle), spoke thus:
While speaking learned words, you are mourning for what is not
worthy of grief. Those who are wise lament neither for the
living nor the dead. Never was there a time when I did not
exist, nor you, nor all these kings; nor in the future shall any
of us cease to be. As the emboldened soul continually passes,
in this body, from boyhood to youth to old age, the soul
similarly passes into another body at death. The self-realized
soul is not bewildered by such a change. O son of Kunti, the
nonpermanent appearance of happiness and distress, and their
disappearance in due course, are like the appearance and
disappearance of winter and summer seasons. They arise from
sense perception, O scion of Bharata, and one must learn to
tolerate them without being disturbed.
So there. Krishna says you shouldn't even grieve for the apparent
loss of your life, much less the loss of your stupid hair.
Easy for the blue-skinned God to say, with long black locks flowing
down his back.
6. Serious Solutions
If you still don't believe that bald can be beautiful (on you) and if
you still grieve for that which is not worthy of grief, then you're a
terribly superficial, materialistic creature and probably a Libra too.
But we still love you. The good news is that, if money is no object,
you can, in many cases, have as much hair as you want. Once you have
a full head of hair, it'll be easier to philosophize about how hair is
one of the illusions of Maya and thus makes no difference whatsoever.
As a good Libra, you'll enjoy doing that.
Timing is everything. The sooner you start taking some decisive
action before your baldness pattern reaches its limits, the smoother
your transition from a "balding" person to one with an apparently full
head of hair will be. This, of course, should be obvious. If your
hair is just now starting to thin, very few people other than you and
those very intimately involved with you will either notice or care if
you start to make changes. But if you're completely bald on top, or
have a full-crown bald spot, then its sudden disappearance will be
noticed by many people. This involves potential psychological
problems. If you make an abrupt transition, some people will ask you
what you've done to your hair. Maybe the comments will be well meant
or innocuous, such as, "Whatever you've done to your hair, it looks
great." Few will say, "I like your new wig." That's because few--if
any--will notice.
The reason why few people will notice most subtle changes you make to
your hair is that most people don't actually see you each time they
cast their eyes on you. What they "see" is their pre-formed mental
image of you (your "gestalt"). Their eyes scan you for identifying
features and then, satisfied that the person they are scanning matches
(more or less) their internalized gestalt of you, they're satisfied
about that and go on with what they're truly concerned about, which
is usually themselves. That's why people who have had beards for a
long time are often surprised that many people don't mention it when
they shave the beard off. At best, a few people will say, "There's
something different about you; did you used to wear glasses or
something?"
There are exceptions, however, to what we just said. Men who are
losing or have lost their hair are generally as perceptive as raptors
when it comes to other men's hair. If you used to look bald and then
start to look hairy, you'll be leaving the balding ones behind. Some
will resent the fact that you're choosing to leave the bald club;
somehow they've convinced themselves that they have to be in that club
for life and they believe you deserve the same sentence. Another
group of exceptions will be the few people who actually walk around
with their eyes open. Why do they do this? No one knows, but some
people actually have nothing better to do than to go around seeing and
enjoying the real world, rather than seeing their pre-formed image
of it. You can be assured that those people are few in number and
are usually such enlightened souls that they wouldn't think of
embarrassing you in public or private.
In any case, the avoidance of any comments at all is preferable to
most people. We want to look better, but not radically better. If
you look radically better, then your current gestalt will not match
people's preformed image of you and you'll wake them out of their
daze. A seamless transition is thus the ideal. If you gradually
make positive changes early in your pattern's progression, you will
get minimal or no unwelcome comments from others. If you are
currently fully bald, it will be harder to make slow, seamless
changes, but it is possible. To ease the social transition, you might
even consider going away for a while as you make your changes.
(Fleeing is not recommended, but you might think about making your
change if, for example, for other reasons you do need to move to a new
city or go on a long vacation. In that case, you can start again
fresh.)
A. Spray-On Hair in a Can.
Don't laugh. This stuff REALLY works--but only if you just have a
small spot to cover. Forget it if you don't have any hair that can
be combed over your spot and still look natural; in that case, it
will just look like you painted your head! Cost: $5.00 per can at
some retail stores; $19.95 plus 4.95 shipping and handling (for a
larger can) when sold on late-night infomercials. Several brands are
available. The one called Instant Hair Plus is a good one.
(a) Advantages. If you just have a small spot, this stuff has you
covered. Its odd texture somehow creates the appearance of full hair,
but only when mixed with a sufficient amount of your own thinning
hair.
(b) Disadvantages. The powder might come off on your pillow, shirt,
and hands. Get used to ring-around-the-collar. The better types
come off only when mixed with water and soap. You need to apply
for spray every day, or after you wash your hair. Spray-on hair is
hardly a long-lasting solution, only a stop-gap measure. Eventually,
you won't have enough real hair to make it work.
Alternative: Try Clairol Loving Care Hair Color Mousse (all colors
available) (about $6.00). Smear some of it on a plastic bag and rub
it full strength over your (small) spot and mix it with existing hair.
The effect might be the same as spray-on hair, and, when dry, the
mousse does NOT readily come off on pillows. Once again, this works
only on small spots and in combination with at least some real hair.
B. Wigs
Hairpieces of various sizes, qualities, and shapes are rarely called
wigs by companies like Hair Club For Men, Hairmakers, etc., but
they're selling nothing other than wigs. They call their wigs
"systems" or "pieces." Pick the euphemism you prefer. They sew--with
a needle and thread--the hairpiece to your existing hair, which is
first prepared by making a braid in your own hair along the sides.
Other techniques involve attaching the piece to your braid by means of
clips. The clips allow you to remove the piece whenever you desire;
when the thing's sewn to your head, it's terribly difficult to get
off without assistance, but in most cases you wouldn't want to do that
anyway and so that doesn't create a problem.
Cost: From $700 to $1500 for an initial hairpiece plus about $60 every
5 weeks for a haircut and servicing. If you can afford it, you should
eventually get two pieces, so one can be worn while the other is
being repaired every few months. Normal monthly servicing-with-haircut
takes about an hour of concentrated effort from a specialized
hairstylist, who therefore deserves at least a $10 tip.
(a) Advantages. The truth is that a lot of people come out of these
salons looking fabulous! No one could deny it. The best shops--you
have to find them yourself by careful comparison--give you human
hair matched to your own color and texture. The results depend upon a
variety of factors that may not be totally within your control. Wigs
are (or should be) handcrafted items; the quality of such object
depends on the skill of the people who make them. Don't submit to
pressure sales tactics. You will need to return to the company
regularly for servicing. If you distrust them at the beginning, you
might be even unhappier with them later.
So it is possible to get a hairpiece that not only covers your
baldness but also makes you look great. You get used to having it on
after a few weeks; then it almost seems normal. Practically no one
will know you're wearing it, especially if you start before you really
need one, and if you return regularly to have your piece serviced.
Remember, most people don't think nearly as much about your appearance
as you do. That should be comforting.
(b) Disadvantages. A wig is a wig is a wig. It's not a part of you;
it's a prosthesis of sorts. You grow, but it doesn't. Your natural
hair replenishes itself. The hair on your piece will get old faster
than you do, fade, and even fall out. From time to time, therefore,
you will need to have your piece dyed professionally as part of your
monthly servicing and to have lost hairs replaced strand by strand,
or clump by clump ($25 or so). You should attend to these details
meticulously every few months. There's nothing worse than a balding
or faded wig!
In any case, if you meet someone who gets intimate and wants to stroke
your head, well, unless the person has a glove on, s/he'll probably
realize the stuff on your head is not exactly real. Most people who
keep their hands to themselves won't care or notice by visual measures
alone.
(c) Warnings. Before you accept your first hairpiece, make sure it's
of excellent quality. For example, the piece they first try to tie
onto you might not have been designed by a person who knew or cared
what s/he was doing, the hair might not match your own color or
texture very well, the piece might actually be an off-the-shelf model
they're selling you for a custom-made price, etc. Try to avoid
signing contracts that do not refund most of your money if you're not
completely satisfied. However, out of fairness, you should realize
that there is a reasonable cost involved in having a custom-made piece
designed for you in the first place. If you frivolously decide you
don't want to go through with the process after they've manufactured
your piece, the company can stand to lose several hundreds of
dollars--but certainly not the full price they're charging you. You
need to negotiate on this issue.
C. Sutured Wigs
Some companies claim to permanently "cure" baldness by actually
attaching what are no more than wigs or hairpieces to your scalp, not
your existing hair.
Cost: Whatever it is, it's a horrid waste of money.
(a) Advantages. There are none. The supposed advantage is that,
unlike with sewn-on-your-own-hair hairpieces, the surgically-installed
ones won't come loose as your real hair grows.
(b) Disadvantages. They are legion. This is a surgical procedure that,
logically, is bound to be unsatisfactory for many very good reasons.
First, your poor scalp will probably never completely heal from this
until you get it removed for good. Second, if you need, every month
or so, to have a sewn-on hairpiece removed for servicing, you surely
would need to have the sutured thing removed too for cleaning and the
addition of new hair for the hairs that inevitably fall out. But you
can't do that servicing without undergoing yet another surgical
procedure. Feel sorry for anyone who has actually undergone this
procedure. Don't do it yourself.
E. Minoxidil (Rogaine)
This product of the Upjohn company is widely advertised as the only
approved cure for baldness.
Cost: ?
(a) Advantages: Scientific studies have proven that this drug works to
restore growing hair for many people, especially those who start
early and especially those with loss only in the crown. Apply a
bit twice a day, and eventually and slowly, hair comes back.
(b) Disadvantages: Your hair grows back, but painfully slowly. If you
stop using the drug, the hair falls out again. For many people the
gains are not aesthetically significant. Sure, there's more hair or
peach fuzz there, but you still look bald. The cost is relatively
high, and you can never stop buying it. Read the list of side effects
of a drug you might need to take forever.
F. Hair Transplants and Baldness Reduction Procedures.
This is the ultimate solution. It is the only one that, when it
works, works permanently, such that you don't need to do it again!
There is nothing like your own growing, regenerating hair.
Cost: $8,000 (for just a bald crown) to $40,000 (for full-cap bald).
(a) Advantages. If you have the bucks to spend, well spend them here.
You will eventually get your money's worth, if you don't decide to
buy a house instead. Quite simply, a doctor will take hairs from the
sides or back of your scalp and install them onto your bald or balding
areas. These transplanted hairs are the ones with strict genetic
instructions to stay with you until your last breath. An assistant
will sew the donor sites together ("donor closure") so you won't have
gaps on the side of your head. Once the new stuff grows in, it's
yours. No more hairpiece servicing, no more bottles of drugs or
colored hairspray to buy, just your own hair. Sound good? Read on.
(b) Disadvantages. The prices listed are actually rather realistic,
if you're going to get pleasing results. You wouldn't need to spend
all of that money all at once, however. Each procedure will cost from
$900 to $2000.
The 8 grand would cover four or five procedures over at least a year
and a half and could result in pleasing results for a person who
looked like O.J. Simpson's lawyer (but only for his crown, not for the
front). (With that guy's money, one wonders why he never did this.)
This could involve two baldness-reduction procedures (galeoplasty)
spaced 3 months apart and then three transplant procedures.
Try to do as much reduction as possible; this procedure produces
fastest results. A crescent moon-shaped or star-shaped slice of bald
scalp is simply cut out, and then the remaining scalp is sewn
together. Rather quickly, you're much less bald. Your scalp is elastic
enough to tolerate this. After this heals, the remaining bald spot is
covered with hair grafts. The scars remaining after a reduction
procedure heals will disappear under the transplanted hair from later
procedures. The 40 grand figure is an uneducated guess at what a
full-cap bald person might need to spend, ultimately, to get the BEST
possible results. (Actually, for 40 grand, maybe they'll do something
about your nose too!) You'll need to consider the amount of donor
hair you have, however. Captain Picard just would never have enough
to make it work. Of course, he could have tufts growing in several
places, but no one would ever mistake him for a person with full head
of hair. Still, procedures and surgeons are constantly improving.
So it all depends on your pattern: how far bald you're likely to get.
If you think your pattern will never make you fully bald, you might
want to try turning things around in the hirsute direction.
(c) More Disadvantages:
It is true that the surgical procedures themselves are almost
completely painless. You are given nitrous oxide and a local
anaesthetic, so you feel next to nothing as you watch television, sip
on a soft drink, and chat with your surgeon. (In actuality, you'll be
high as a kite from the nitrous thinking that you'd really enjoy this
if those guys would just stop chopping on your head.) You probably
won't even see a drop of blood during the procedure; the companies
really try to hide the blood, since it upsets some clients so much.
You'll feel, painlessly and vaguely, someone drilling into your donor
sites and then preparing similar holes in the transplant sites. The
transplants themselves will be little cylindrical cores of follicles
Immediately after either a baldness-reduction or transplant procedure,
you'll look like an Indian Sikh with a white turban. (If people
mistake you for a swami, tell them you're using spiritual powers to
grow hair.) The bandage comes off after just one or two days,
revealing a healing wound. After a baldness-reduction procedure,
you'll look like someone just hit you in the head with an axe; after a
typical transplant procedure, you'll look like a rabid woodpecker had
its way with your head--actually, after a few days, it won't be SO
bad. You can start washing your hair again, very carefully, after
two or three days.
These inevitable stages don't have to be psychologically or socially
traumatic for you, however. This is definitely the time to get out
your hat collection, to adjust your schedule so that you won't return
to work for at least four days (though some people could physically do
so the very next day).
Transplanted hair falls out a month after surgery; it then--slowly--
regrows. Aesthetically pleasing regrowth takes about 6 months
(d) Cautions. Your results will depend on the skill and caring of your
surgeons. Experience counts a lot. Investigate before you invest!
Lots of micro or mini transplants are ultimately better than just a
few larger-sized transplants. The little ones take better. Your
transplants should certainly be MUCH, MUCH smaller each than a dime;
more the size of, say, three pinheads put together.
Each time you get another transplant procedure near a spot where a
former transplant was done, the earlier transplants will be disturbed.
Some might die, but most will temporarily bald again from the shock
but then come back, after the normal 3 to 4 months.
(e) Variations.
There are flap procedures in which a whole flap of sideline hair is
cut out, twisted, and stuck onto a prepared bald spot. This allegedly
provides instant results of varying quality, especially for people
bald in front. The advantage is supposed to be that the flap of hair
never completely loses its blood supply since part of it is still
attached to its original location on the scalp.
A variation of the baldness-reduction procedure is to expand the scalp
beforehand by surgically inserting balloon-like devices into which
more and more liquids are forced over the course of several weeks.
This makes the bald scalp bulge out; the extra skin, once loosened in
this way, is then snipped away. As the balloons fill, the client
begins to look like a creature from outer space. If you can possibly
stand looking like this, logically the procedure should work, since
you'll rid yourself of more bald skin than is possible with normal
baldness reduction. You may also enjoy an unanticipated facelift in
the process. (That is not a joke! Think about it. When extra scalp
is cut away, the remaining skin on your head is tightened up. Same
with normal (balloon-free) baldness reduction procedures.)
G. Combining Approaches
Actually, it is possible, if you start early enough, to combine several
approaches discussed above so that you have minimal embarrassment and
maximal success. The following steps are logical and relatively pain
free. We did not say cheap. Now that you know what each procedure
entails, you can combine them to suit your particular situation.
(a) Start with a hairpiece or spray-on hair.
Even though hairpieces are undesirable prostheses, if you get a good
one and start well before your pattern's reached its peak, practically
no one will notice what you've done and you'll have taken your first
step. Yes, you can indeed swim with it on, blow dry your hair,
everything they say in the infomercials, except that when someone put
his/her hands through your hair, it might not feel like real hair.
If you have minimal hair loss now, you might be able to start with
spray-on hair and omit the hairpiece entirely from your schedule.
For example, you might order relatively small baldness-reduction
procedures, ones designed to produce small scars that can be covered
by the spray after a few days.
(b) Get baldness-reduction procedures or transplants.
Each procedure takes about an hour. Have your stylist take your
hairpiece off just before you go in for surgery and then have it put
back on about 3 days after your surgery. This will work fine, if you
just keep your wounds clean by spraying isopropyl alcohol right
through your hairpiece. And voila. No one will think you were
attacked with an axe; no one will notice anything--except for people
you live at home with. And you'd be surprised--even some of them
won't notice. Each time you have your piece serviced, you'll get a
look at the (slow) progress you're making. Only you and your stylist
will see this. As your surgical wounds heal and eventually disappear,
the early stages will be unsightly. We do NOT recommend your trying
to go through baldness-reduction procedures (of normal size) without
having a piece to cover it up as fast as possible. It just looks too
ugly. We presume you always want to look your best.
(c) Wean yourself from the hairpiece, if necessary, by using spray-on
hair. As soon as it seems possible, see if the spray-on hair will
fill in the gaps for you. If you just had a bald crown, you could be
free of the hairpiece within just two years.
If you start too early, before you're really sure what your final
pattern will turn out to be, for some time you'll find yourself never
running out of bald spots to keep getting transplants on. So weaning
yourself from the hairpiece might take longer.
About the Cost: The cost will be high if you desire excellent,
permanent results. But this is an investment in yourself that will
last for the rest of your lifetime. If you invest wisely, you'll
enjoy the results much longer than you will any new car you'll buy.
Final Words:
In every town there are private stylists who used to work for outfits
like Hair Club for Men and now do the same work, perhaps much more
caringly, affordably, and professionally, on their own. If you can
find one of them, you might be much happier in the long run. Look in
the Yellow Pages and call the companies with the smaller ads first. If
you can't find a small company, you might start with a large company
and if you don't like it ask your stylist if s/he'd consider doing the
same work at home.
Surgery is serious business. The abilities of surgeons vary. You
therefore want a rather well established company for the surgical
procedures, so look for the bigger ads. Companies with large ads but
rather small offices can be fine, however. Surgeons who do
transplants usually do other types of surgery in hospitals on other
days, so you shouldn't insist on a large hospital setting; such
outpatient procedures can be done safely in a specialist's office.
Wild-sounding procedures, whether covered or not covered here, should
be investigated thoroughly. No endorsement of any particular
companies (other than Clairol's Chocolate Mousse) is implied here.
Trust your feelings when you visit a hair-service company. Do the
employees seem happy? If they don't, find a place where, at the very
least, they do. Before you buy, interview a company's current
clients. That research, if you do it well, may pay off handsomely.
Good luck.
And once you have all the hair you've ever wanted, read again that
hair is an illusion like all the others. True, it's less of an
illusion now that it's sprouting abundantly above your brain. But
it's all just a bunch of material stuff, and none of it has much to
do with who you really are.
Or does it?
Your body might be an illusion, but that doesn't mean it has to be an
unsightly, dreadful illusion. Why not let your illusion touch your
highest ideal, if that's what you truly want to do.
4. Bates Method
Q. What is the Bates Method?
A. The Bates Method is a set of vision improvement techniques
originally developed by William H. Bates, MD, back in the 1910's
and 1920's. Many people have expanded on the techniques since
then. There are at least a dozen books in print.
The basic theory is that we develop excess tension in the muscles
in and around the eyes, and it is this tension which causes poor
vision. The vision improvement techniques are designed to relax
the muscles in the eyes and to allow us to see better.
There are 3 basic techniques for relaxing the eyes:
1. "Sunning" is shining a bright light on your closed eyes. Use as
bright a light as you can stand without squinting. Concentrate
on relaxing the eyes while you do this. Eventually you will be
able to increase the intensity of the light and use the sun as
your light source. This technique is done for 5 to 20 minutes
(no more than 5 minutes facing the sun). It is best if you can
follow your sunning with palming.
2. "Palming" is covering your eyes with your cupped palms. Try to
cut off all light from your eyes. Relax and think of something
pleasant. Do this technique for at least 5 minutes. You can do
this as much as you like. The record is 20 hours. I recommend
one 20 minute session per day.
3. The "long standing swing" is standing in the middle of a room
and turning back and forth from 90 degrees left to 90 degrees
right. Turn your head with your body and keep the eyes looking
forward. Start with the eyes lifted and looking at the line
where the wall meets the ceiling, and lower your gaze with each
pass. Do not try to focus on everything that passes in front of
your eyes; just let your gaze fall where it will. Start with 30
swings, and work your way up to 100 swings. This should take no
more than 4 minutes.
All the techniques should be done with the eyes relaxed. If you
feel tension around your eyes and you can't relax it, stop the
technique.
There are other techniques to correct vision defects like
astigmatism and poor left-right fusion. I recommend you get a
copy of the book titled "Do You Really Need Eyeglasses" by
Marilyn B. Rosanes-Berrett if you would like more info. This is
the best book I have found on the subject. The ISBN is
0-88268-104-4.
Q. Is there any empirical evidence to support the Bates Method?
A. (msieweke@hayes.com) writes:
There is empirical evidence to support the Bates method, and there
is a limited amount of experimental evidence. Bates documented
many successes, and each of the other books documents many
successes. There are reports of patients who were brought to 20/20
vision and had astigmatism corrected.
I have one book that lists three studies showing vision improvement
in patients using something similar to the Bates method. I seldom
mention them because the data is difficult to interpret, and
because I don't like the book (Natural Vision Improvement) as much
as some others. One study lists visual acuity before and after
training. Results vary... One patient started at
20/400(both eyes) and ended at 20/400(r), 20/300(l) after 15
months. Another patient started at 20/800 and ended at 20/60
after only 6 weeks!
5. Stephen Covey
Q. Who is Stephen Covey?
A. Stephen Covey is the author of "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective
People" which has been on the New York Times Bestseller list for
the past several years. The subtitle of 7 Habits is "Restoring
the Character Ethic". This sums up how Covey's work is different
from many other approaches. While at Harvard doing his MBA
he researched a large portion of the self improvement literature
going back as far as the 18th century. What he noticed was that
early on the work focused on character traits and principles and
that long term success depended upon this. Early this century,
the focus shifted to what he calls the "personality ethic" which
became the dominant theme in success literature. In the personality
ethic, success is viewed as a function of personality, public
image, attitude, skills, and techniques. If you learned the
right techniques and could impress the right people and you would
be successful. Much of Covey's work is focused on restoring the
character ethic as the principle focus, skills and techniques can
only be successful in the long term if they are built upon a strong
character ethic.
Covey received his PhD from Brigham Young University where he spent
many years as a professor in the School of Management. He is also
the founder of the Covey Leadership Center and the nonprofit
Institute for Principle-Centered Leadership. Stephen and his
center are widely sought by major corporations as speakers and
consultants. In addition to his 7 Habits he has authored, "How
to Succeed with People", "Principle-Centered Leadership", "First
Things First". In addition to his business writing Covey is also
very popular among members of the Church of Jesus Christ of
Latter-Day Saints for writing books dealing with religious and
spiritual topics. Some of these books are, "Spiritual Roots
of Human Relations", "The Divine Center", and "Marriage and Family
Insights".
6. Est
Q. What is Est?
A. Est (Erhard Seminars Training) was started by Werner Erhard and
was one of the most popular and influential self-improvement
movements of the 1970's.
Q. Is Est still around?
A. Est is no longer taught in its original form, but a number of
groups have evolved from Est and their current teachings borrow
heavily from the original Est. The most prominent is
Landmark Education which offers The Forum.
7. Financial Improvement
Q. What are some available resources for managing finances?
A. The most well known source of information about personal finance
information is probably Charles Givens (see next question).
Another book that is highly recommended is called _Your Money Or
Your Life_ by Joseph Dominguez and Vicki Robin. This book takes
a "holistic" approach to financial success, meaning that it treats
finances as an integral part of your entire life, not one seperable
part that can be talked about separately. It discusses attitudes
toward money, spiritual feelings about money, whether how you are
making money is consistent with your values, etc.
Q. What do people know about Charles Givens?
A. Charles Givens is probably the biggest name in personal finance
these days. He gives seminars around the country and is the
author of the best-selling books, "Wealth Without Risk",
"More Wealth Without Risk", and "Financial Self-Defense". He is
also the founder of the "Charles J. Givens Organization" which is
supposedly the largest organization of it's type in the world, that
is dissiminator of personal finance information and advice. His
organization was recently sued (and lost) for giving misleading
financial advice. He has also reportedly lied about the story he
often tells of losing his fortune 3 times and coming back as a
millionaire 3 times. Many people have used his book and there is
certainly some very good advice there. The key is choosing what
information will be useful for you and that which won't. No
readers of this group have reported gaining great wealth from
following his advice.
Q. What are some other reseources for information?
A. One excellent place to look is in the misc.invest FAQ.
8. General Learning and Study Skills
9. Hypnosis
Q. What is the relationship between hypnosis and self-improvement?
A. Hypnosis is used by many different forms of therapy. Self-hypnosis
is also possible and many people report positive experiences
with hypnosis. This topic is not often discussed in much detail
in alt.self-improve.
Hypnosis can be used in many ways for self-improvement. It can
allow the mind to utilize its resources in new ways and to change
behavior and create new desired behaviors.
Q. How do I learn more about hypnosis?
A. Read the newsgroup alt.hypnosis, which has a very good FAQ. There
is a World Wide Web site describing hypnosis training by Tad James
as well (See Appendix A). Tad has recently been elected President
of the American Board of Hypnotherapy (ABH). NLP also utilizes
hypnosis in various ways. An excellent book on hypnosis is
"Trace-formations" by John Grinder and Richard Bandler.
10. Landmark (The Forum)
(Editor note: The following two questions about The Forum are from
an email conversation between one of the editors and an
alt.self-improve reader, Rex Ballard. Included here with permission.)
Q. The promises of Est are basically the same as every other self
improvement program ever devised. How does it work? Why does it
get results where others fail?
A. Transformation - the "fruit" of a "self-help" program, comes, not
from telling or talking to, but from the inquiry. Tranformation
comes as the result of a conversation for fulfilling a possibility.
It is much like learning to ride a bicycle, I can tell you how to
ride a bicycle: "grab the handlebars, push off, and pedal". But it
is only in the inquiry that one actually discovers balance.
Without the experience of balance, there is no riding a bicycle.
Without the inquiry, the distinctions are just "interesting
information".
From the inquiry, the particpant can expect a breakthrough - the
fulfillment of possibilities that would not otherwise happen. A
major alteration in relationships, confidence, effectiveness, or
decision making that they may have been putting up with, resisting,
or trying to change for years with no significant effect.
Landmark offers free introductory seminars nearly every day at
their various centers and sites throughout the country. In these
seminars, the introduction leader will explain some of the key
distinctions of the Forum. Many people who never do the Forum
still end up taking on their lives in a new way out of going to a
3 hour introduction. About 1/3 will register for the Forum itself
which lasts 3 days and an evening, usually Friday, Saturday, and
Sunday from 9 AM to 11 PM or 1 AM (If there are a bunch of Lawyers
in the room, plan on a long night friday). By the end of each
night, you will not be tired until you want to be. Tuesday night,
you return to complete the homework. The course is actually 5
days, but two of them are "laboratory" days. In the 3 day program,
a highly trained leader leads an inquiry in a room with 100-200
successful people who are highly committed to having a
breakthrough. The leader will describe a distinction and then ask
people to share their experience. In a room of 150+ people, there
are several who want to share. As that person shares, the Forum
leader asks questions, soon the whole room is seeing how this
conversation can impact their lives. By the end of the
converstation, everyone in the room not only has an insight, but
also sees an opening for action at the first opportunity.
Q. Can you provide any details about the process that occurs at a
seminar? My understanding is that in the early days of Est,
participants were not allowed to give out details of what went on
at the seminars. Is that still the case in Landmark Education?
A. I could give you detailed descriptions of the entire Forum, but it
wouldn't really make a difference. The process is actually a
series of distinctions that create the foundation for other
distinctions. The structure is such that an inquiry that would
normally take 20 years (I had been DOING the 12 steps for 10 years
and was astonished by Saturday Morning) is conducted with the
intended result in 3 days. Sunday afternoon seems like a course in
advanced Zen. By Sunday night, there is what I call (personal
opinion/experience here - not Landmark) a spiritual awakening.
The key distinctions of Landmark based on that we have a past
consisting of what happened, and our interpretations/opinions/
feelings/judgements about what happened. For example - what
happened is that - - the first girl I ever dated through a cup full
of soda pop in my face and 50 people laughed. What I made it mean
was that I was UGLY and UNATTRACTIVE. The problem is that I didn't
separate the two. I now interacted with all women, for the next 26
years as if I was Short, Fat, Bald, Cross-eyed, with Polka-dot zit
and scab covered skin. In fact, by the time I was 18, I was 6'1"
tall, 155 to 180 pounds, a professional dancer, model, and actor,
and going to a school with 900 women and 5 heterosexual men
(another 20 were gay). I had men pursuing me every day. I was
about as tall dark and handsome as a man could get, but when it
came to asking a woman for a date - I WAS UGLY AND UNATTRACIVE,
EVEN REPULSIVE. Of course, this communicated to the women in the
form of avoiding romantic intimacy, only having arms-length
friendships. I actually became a bit disgusting, not bathing for
days, not grooming, wearing big, baggy overalls, and acting like a
sex pervert (more evidence to be UGLY). I even married a woman who
I was not attracted so that I wouldn't be hurt when she discovered
that I was UGLY and UNATTRACTIVE, it took her 9 years to finally
agree with me, (she married a man 10 years younger than me, a Tom
Sellek type). In the Forum, I realized that all this woman did was
throw a glass of pop at someone who, at that time, was not well
liked by most of her friends. She may have been trying to impress
them, she may have been insulted by my being late, she may not have
liked the ring I gave her (that she asked me to give her).
This brings up the other major distinction. Psychology tells us
that we are the way we are because of our past. This was a better
model than the one that preceded it which was "Circular" (as the
seasons come and go, we just suffer through whatever comes). At
Landmark, we say that we are the way we are because of the Future
we are living into. If I told you that I talked to your boss and
he was going to have to let you go, you would act and think a
certain way (looking for another job, fear, anxiety). If I just
handed you a winning lottery ticket, for which the number was
announced an hour ago, you would live very differently (what color
shoes go with a black Mercedes) even though you hadn't recieved a
penny of the money yet.
Why it LOOKS as if we are given by the past is that we keep
putting the past into our future. Everytime I would go to ask a
woman to dance, every other rejection by women would be right there
with me, I eventually never got more than two steps toward the
woman I wanted.
That night, I saw that I was not a bad looking guy, and went to a
dance and danced with several women (who were astonished and
pleased that I asked them to dance). One of them told me that
women thought I was stuck-up and a snob because I was so aloof.
Since this discovery in the Forum, I've gone to several single's
events. I even put an ad in the personals section. I even posted
a personal on the internet, and answered one.
Which brings up a third key distinction of the Forum. Though the
inquiry may be useful, and the insights may be interesting, even
exciting, there is little value in any of that unless there is an
opening for immediate action. We have many reasons for not doing
what we really want to do, but that is not the same as doing
something worthwhile. In the Forum, we look to see what actions
are worthy of taking (expressing love to another person, parents,
spouses, children...) and take appropriate actions even when it may
not be "convenient". We can call someone at 1:00 A.M. to tell them
someone died, but we can't call them to tell someone we love them,
even though this may be the first time we've said it in many years).
In the introduction seminars, guests reach the end in one of four
places. They are ready to register, they know that they never want
to do the Forum (very rarely), they have something they need to
work out (time, money, babysitters). They have something
intangible "I just need to think about it", "I need to check this
out" something that is usually familiar, these are usually the ones
who want to be more decisive.
The time and money can be worked out, but for the maximum value
out of the Forum (the Forum begins when you register), one of the
most powerful distinctions is to register that night, not knowing
how it's going to work out, but committed to having it work out.
Those are the people who not only end up being able to say how
their own lives go, but can actually become leaders in their
community and simply cause things to happen when no one knows if it
will work out.
If you were madly in love with your wife, and I threw your wedding
ring over a brick wall and told you that if you didn't give it back
it would be delivered to your wife by a beautiful blonde, you
would find a way to get over the wall to save your marriage. Most
people come to the introduction with something at stake, they want
to save/revitalize a relationship with their spouse, kids they
love, parents they haven't spoken to, bosses they hate, or jobs
they dread. Everything else is just great though.
The weird thing about the Forum is that when I did the Forum,
EVERYONE ELSE CHANGED. My boss was nicer, I was promoted and my
coworkers wanted to work for me, my girlfriend wanted me back, my
ex-wife wanted to talk to me when I came to see the kids, her
husband even invited me to spend Christmas with them. I even had
more time and money to spend on things I wanted.
What each person gets out of the Forum is different. Part of the
application to do the Forum is that you have to specify 3 things
that you want to get out of the Forum. These are things that
wouldn't happen anyway, and that you do not presently know how to
do.
Q. Is there an organization for Forum graduates?
A. Yes. The Forum Graduate Association (FGA) can be contacted as:
David Shaw, President
Forum Graduate Association
6008 Wendron Way
Alexandria, VA 22315
(703) 971-3693 (Home)
(301) 457-1242 (Office)
email: fgainc@gcr.com
11. Lateral Thinking
Q. What is lateral thinking?
A. The term lateral thinking was coined by Edward deBono in his books
"Lateral Thinking" and "The Use of Lateral Thinking". The basic
idea of lateral thinking is that instead of moving directly and
automatically from a goal to a solution, the mind searches in
many different directions to find a solution. It involves avoiding
solving problems in the most familiar or obvious way. His books
are quite readable and enjoyable.
12. Life-Long Learning Association
Q. What is Life-Long Learning Association
A. The LLL association is a source of self improvement products.
The assoc. sends you the product of the month ( usually a 6 audio
or video seminar) or you can choose an alternate selection if the
program doesn't suit your interests. You also get a subscription
to the world premiere audio magazine "Inside Edge" which covers
current trends in development, etc. and a subscription to "The
Destiny Report" newsletter. The above is sent to you monthly for
$50 US. The assoc. was set up to make LLL affordable on the
monthly basis which it is required for results. The retail of what
you get is close to $100. A good portion of the product comes
from Nightingale-Conant, a company LLL recently merged with. See
Appendix A for contact information about the Life-Long Learning
Association if you are interested.
13. Lifespring
Q. What is Lifespring?
A. From: jmd@bear.com (Josh Glazenburg-Diamond)
Hi! Josh Diamond here. I am a graduate of the entire Lifespring
program -- I took the trainings back in 1990, and found them to be
incredibly valuable.I work as an investment analyst at Bear
Stearns & Co. -- an investment bank in New York City.
I came into the Lifespring trainings looking for breakthroughs in
my career and in personal relationships (esp. with women), and all
I can say is that since then I have more than tripled my income,
and gotten married to a truly wonderful and beautiful woman
(amongst other things). We just bought a co-op, and will be
having our first child next year. My wife has also done the
trainings, as have several of my friends and co-workers.
Lifespring, EST, and a few other such trainings all have a common
lineage. The basis was a research program at Stanford University
back in the early 70's. This spawned an organization called Mind
Dynamics, which later split up into Lifespring, EST, and the
others. EST eventually mutated into Warner-Earhardt and then
Landmark Education -- with a program now called The Forum.
Lifespring kept its name, but has undergone continuous
modernization as new techniques in personal growth have emerged.
There are now Basic and Advanced trainings, as well as several
other workshops and programs.
The Lifespring trainings are an opportunity to uncover and redesign
the underlying assumptions out of which you live your life such that
you experience a profound shift in your ability to relate to
yourself and others, empowering you to fully engage your heartfelt
commitments with freedom and passion.
Participants often invite friends to a guest event -- a free
evening designed to allow you to learn about what the training is
and how it can support you. It provides a small preview of the
training experience. At the end of the evening you are given an
opportunity to enroll in the training. At the moment I believe
that the tuition in New York City $495, with a 100% money back
guarantee. It may be lower elsewhere (it was when I took the
trainings).
I would say that it is worth attending. You can leave at any time,
and there is no obligation to pay if you just attend the guest
event.
Oh, BTW, people who enroll their friends in the trainings do _not_
get any rewards for it (no tupperware or toaster-ovens). Mostly
people bring guests to these evenings because they see some
breakthrough possible for them -- not like something is broken, but
like a higher possibility exists -- maybe something that had not
been thought of before. Often our friends see things that we do
not. Your friend probably sees some possibility for you in the
training, and that is why they have invited you. I say take the
chance and go for it.
14. Meditation
Q. What experiences do people have with meditation and what results
have they experienced?
A. Many people in the group have some experience with meditation.
Some report very good results, others have had less dramatic
experiences. This topic is not often discussed in detail in
alt.self-improve although it does seem relevant. A related
newsgroup is alt.meditation
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