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        | What to do when your mom finds your beigebox - by Dublisk |
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A phreaker's nightmare is when their lineman's handset or beige box is taken 
away from them, or found. If it's by the FBI or the police you might have a 
chance to reason with them or at least settle something, but with moms there 
just is no hope. So what do you do when your mom finds that beige box hiding 
somewhere deep within your closet? Pray and keep mental notes of the 
following.

You have to be ready to think of an excuse or explanation of what the thing 
is that she finds. Remember, stay cool and calm when lying to parents or 
anyone, as they seem to have the knack of being able to catch a lie as easy 
as 3.141592654. If you believe the lie to be true, then it is true. Don't 
ever smile or grin the slightest bit. You should try to seem a bit confused 
about the questions they are asking you, pretend to be a little stupid and 
don't be sure what they mean. This sort of thing can also help your social 
engineering skills as you have to be as believable as possible. Ok, I am 
going to insert some dialogue to show you some examples of what to do when 
your mom finds your beige box. 

SITUATION #1:
<mom> What the hell is this phone and phone cords doing in this napsack? And 
why the hell is the end cut off with alligator clips on it?
<phreak> Uhhhhhhhhhh nothing.
<mom> What do you mean nothing?
<phreak> I mean nothing by saying nothing?
<mom> What?
<phreak> What? What are you talking about??? What the hell are you doing with 
a phone like that mom anyway huh???? Trying to tap into people phone lines or
something??? you should be ashamed!!!!
<mom> But wait a second here......

ANALYSIS:
By confusing the mother, the phreak was able to get away with it and turn 
around the situation on the mom.

SITUATION #2:

<mom> What the hell is this phone and phone cords doing in this napsack? And 
why the hell is the end cut off with alligator clips on it?
<phreak> What? what are you talking about?
<mom> This!! What the hell is this??
<phreak> Oh that, yeah I was just trying out something with that.
<mom> What exactly were you doing with it?
<phreak> Oh I was just trying out an experiment that I read about in a 
communications technology book that I found at school. You hook up those 
alligator clips to the ends of a latern battery and by changing the voltage 
and stuff you can make the phone ring and the light go on and things like 
that.
<mom> Oh yeah right, then why the hell is there a flashlight, screwdrivers,
and wrenches in here too?
<phreak> Yeah I had to pop open the bottom of the phone to do some stuff with 
the phone to get it to work properly.
<mom> Yeah right, you better not be going out messing with people's phone 
lines.
<phreak> Now why would I want to do that? What could I do anyway?
<mom> I don't know, but I better not find out you were getting into trouble.
<phreak> Trust me, jesus christ, I am not crazy.
<mom> I just don't trust you, I am going to take this thing away where you 
will never get it again.

ANALYSIS:
Ok, except for the fact that he gets the box taken away, the phreak seems to 
have gotten away with it this time with some quick thinking, and note how the 
phreak asks the mom how he could do anything with that. Considering the mom 
doesn't know much about telephone networks she gets confused and assumes the 
phreak is telling the truth and couldn't have done anything bad.

SITUATION #3:
<mom> Hey, what the hell are these alligator clips doing at the end of this
phone?
<phreak> That's a beige box you techno-weinie, now leave me alone before I 
destroy you with my evil haxor powers!!! muahahhahaha!
<mom> AAAIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!   *Runs outside in terror*

ANALYSIS:
Quick, easy, painless, and works the best! Now what have you learned today? 
Never underestimate the power of the haxor.

After reading that you should have a good understanding of what to do when 
your mom finds yer beigebox. As for finding credit card numbers,
weeeeeeellllll thats another story. Till next time.

-Dublisk

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