Another Paging System 0wned.
08/14/03
by bosco

I recently lost my sweet job with Home Depot due to cutbacks. I am not
happy about this. So, instead of sitting around my place sulking,
getting drunk and prank calling my landlord, I will now divulge The Home
Depot's Uniform Paging Code.

In 90% of the stores, the code is #7, wait for two beeps, then press 80.
If you press #7 and you hear a fast-busy, hang up.

Other stores have a delayed paging system, where you key into it, say
your message, it will offer you a few editing options, and spits it out
a few seconds after you confirm it. Some stores have complex paging
codes, fuck them. You'll never get the code in a thousand years. Dialing
from the outside is damn near impossible, as told to me by a Lucent tech
a couple of weeks ago. I forgot exactly why, but he said he has no idea
how someone would do that. The same goes for dialing into the system to
get an outside line. Each Home Depot has a Computer Room and a Phone
Center, where the Operators work. The Computer room is divided into two
smaller rooms. One is the User Room, the other is the Hardware Room. No
one, and I mean NO ONE, is allowed into the Hardware Room except
contract technicians. They have to get permission in writing from the
Regional VP, even for routine service. They're hardasses about
everything here. This is why I have never seen the Lucent system. They
do have wireless h andsets that can do anything a store phone can do,
plus more. Some of the handsets say Lucent, some say Avaya, so I'm not
sure who's fuckin system it is. Anyone feels like they have the balls to
swipe one, by all means, do it. I'd be curious to see what can be done
with them, although I'm pretty sure it'd be the same as a cordless phone
without its base. Anyway, here are some fun things to say once you've
grabbed one of their piece-of-shit black associate phones:

Mr. Kelly: Minor trouble in a specified area or possible theft in
progress. Hardly used, I doubt any of those dolts would actually know
what it is.

Mr. Alexander: This one is a BIG FUCKING DEAL! "Mr Alexander to
Millwork, Mr. Alexander to Millwork." would result in seeing about 30
orange aprons hauling ass toward Millwork. This code is used for fires,
major medical emergency, flood, the second coming of Jesus, etc. If a
store manager doesn't respond to this one, he is terminated. Period.

Code Adam: This one's pretty generic by now, but it basically means
missing kid. It's named after John Walsh's 6-year-old son who was
beheaded and dumped into a marsh. If you use this one, they'll look for
your imaginary bastard for a few minutes, then go back to looking at the
pictures in their copy of "BIG FUCKIN' TRUCK!!" magazine.

That's it for the phone system. Wish I had more, but meh. Anyone else
has anything to add, by all means, please do. Any other questions, PM
me.



P.S. By the way, most stores have a Harris cabinet in the Electrical
aisle that contains cable, wire, and electrical tools. Inside this
(locked) box, you'll find a small line of Harris telco test products,
including two models of buttsets (hehe), tone generators, probes, etc.
These cabinets are supposed to be locked with a Best lock, (the ones
that have the big keys that say "DO NOT DUPLICATE" on them) but
sometimes, they get lazy and put a combo lock on them. If you see a 4
digit combo lock on ANYTHING in the store, the combination WILL BE the
store number. Last I checked, my store had a combo lock on the Harris
box. Anyone want a list of store numbers, PM me.