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=><---------------------------------><=
=>	A little somthing about      <=
=>	   Your phone company	     <=
=><---------------------------------><=
=>	     By Col. Hogan	     <=
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  Ever get an operator who gave you a hard time, and you didn't know what to
do?  Well if the operator hears you use a little Bell jargon, she might wise
up.  Here is a little diagram (excuse the artwork) of the structure of
operators

/--------\     /------\     /-----\
!Operator!-- > ! S.A. ! --->! BOS !
\--------/     \------/     \-----/
   !
   !
   V
/-------------\
! Group Chief !
\-------------/

  Now most of the operators are not bugged, so they can curse at you, if they
do ask INSTANTALY for the "S.A." or the Service Assistant.  The operator does
not report to her (95% of them are hers) but they will solve most of your
problems.  She MUST give you her name as she connects & all of these calls are
bugged.  If the SA gives you a rough time get her BOS (Business Office
Superviser) on the line.  S/He will almost always back her girls up, but
sometimes the SA will get tarred and feathered.  The operator reports to the
Group Chief, and S/He will solve 100% of your problems, but thte chances of
getting S/He on the line are nill.

  If a lineman (the guy who works out on the poles) or an installation man
gives you the works ask to speak to the Installation Foreman, that works
wonders.

&!&!&!&!&!&!&!&!&!&!&!&!&!&!&!&!&!&!&!&!

  Here is some other bell jargon, that might come in handy if you are having
trouble with the line.	Or they can be used to lie your way out of
situations....

  An Erling is a line busy for 1 hour, used mostly in traffic studies A
Permanent Signal is that terrible howling you get if you disconnect, but don't
hang up.

  Everyone knows what a busy signal is, but some idiots think that is the
*Actual* ringing of the phone, when it just is a tone "beeps" when the phone is
ringing, wouldn't bet on this though, it can (and does) get out of sync.

  When you get a busy signal that is 2 times as fast as the normal one, the
person you are tring to reach isn't really on the phone, (he might be), it is
accutally the signal that a trunk line somewhere is busy and they haven't or
can't reroute your call.  Sometimes you will get a Recording, or if you get
nothing at all (Left High & Dry in fone terms) all the recordings are being
used and the system is really overused, will probably go down in alittle while.
This happend when Kennedy was shot, the system just couldn't handle the calls.
By the way this is called the "reorder signal" and the trunk line is "blocked".

  One more thing, if an overseas call isn't completed and doesn't generate any
money for AT&T, is is called an "Air & Water Call".
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