)?(
      The...                       ###########
                                  #Police  Box#
                                  #############
         Smart-ass                #++++#!#++++#
         Hindering                ######!######
         Irritating               #$$$$#!#$$$$#
         Timelord                 ######!######
                                  #$$$$#!#$$$$#
                                  ######!######
            Presents...           #$$$$#!#$$$$#
                                 ###############


_______________________How To Tap Your Own Phone Line(s)_______________________


Introduction
------------

     Many of you, like me, would (and probably already have) like to find other
means of recording/tapping phone lines in your own home.  Maybe it's a VMB
message that talks at 100 words/second or maybe just saving some telephone
conversations that you'd like to save for future blackmail.  Whatever the case,
here is the simple (and so fucking obvious) solution...

Materials
---------

     Here's what you'll need: Telephone extension cord
                              RCA-type extension cord (the type for stereos)
                              Knife (anything that will splice wires)
                              Electric Tape (Almost any type of tape will do)
                              Stereo/Amplifier (Duh!)
                              The IQ of a small rock

Construction
------------

     For those of you who have ever spliced wires together, skip this paragraph
and read on to the advantages of your concotion.  For the rest of you
dumbshits, here's how to do it: First off, chop off about 2-3 feet (hell if its
long, chop as much as you want!) from the telephone cord, making sure to keep
the telephone prongy-thingy (the one you plug into he wall) on one end and four (or two depending) cut-off wires (inside the main cable) on the other.  Do the
same with the RCA extension cord, making sure to keep the RCA-adapter-thingy
(the one ya plug into the stereo) on one end and two cut-off wires (inside the
main cable, usually one bare metal and the other in another wire...) on the
other.
     Next, "splice" the ends together by picking the two middle wires from
the phone cord (the red and green wires, if that helps) and cutting the rubber
around them with the knife so that bare wire is showing.  Next take two of them
(one from the rca and one from the phone cord) and wrap them around each other.
Use the electric tape to cover up this connection (make sure no bare wire is "peeking" out).  Then do the same with the other two.  Then maybe wrap some more
around the lot just for the hell of it.

People with two lines
---------------------

     If you have two lines the middle two on the phone cord (red and green) are
line 1 and the two outer ones (black/blue and yellow) are line 2.  So you can
pick which line you want to hook up to.

Results
-------

     Now you have one big-ass cord!  Okay, now take the phone end and plug it
into (guess where!) any open phone outlet (Don't worry it won't take your phone
"off the hook" no matter how long you leave it plugged in).  Take the RCA end
and plug it into the auxillary/cd/phono outlet in the back of your stereo.
Turn on the stereo and you're ready to rock!  The input level is pretty low so
"pump up the volume!!!".  It should only come out of one speaker, but you will
able to not only record and listen to your own conversations, but anyone in the
house using that phone line will also be picked up (Blackmail sisters,
brothers, and parents!!!)

Reasoning
---------

     The reason I wrote this was that a pretty good friend of mine took his
whole fucking phone apart to do the same thing I just explained (and he can't
record others conversations without there being a difference in sound, i.e. the
person at your end sounds "far away")  I wanted to save the rest of you
dumbshits from yourselves!

Disclaimer
----------

     Why the fuck should I have one???  Like someone's gonna really track me
down for writing a fucking g-file!!!  Personal greets go to: Whizz, Spindizzy,
and Elite...

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!(c) 1989 The S.H.I.T.!Call The Ripco BBS (312) 528-5020!All Rights Worth Shit!
+---------------------+---------------------------------+---------------------+